True Stories From My Terrible Love Life [✓]

A Pathetic Freshman Was I

He was—and still is—the literal definition of an asshat.

If you Google it, his picture might pop up.

Waaaaaaaaaay back in the 9th grade, I met a particular male specimen (shocker, omg). I still remember the first thing he said to me: "You have small feet", and how he then went about putting his foot next to mine for comparison. I guess that's where our friendship started.

We started talking, I mean, we sat next to each other in one class so why not? I don't remember a lot of details in the beginning except that he flirted with me a bit and semi-intrigued me. What fourteen year old girl, turning fifteen, would that not entice? Especially one such as I, that has NEVER had a boyfriend, let alone a boy that actually initiated contact or interest.

Plus, it was my first year of ~high school~. Time for changes, ya know? (a.k.a RELEASE MY INNER HOEEE . . . nah girl, save that for senior year.)

In addition, he was nice and was half way decent looking. (Back then I thought he was pretty attractive, but that's because I was NAIVE. There are so many other people out in the world. One high school does not simply contain all the various types of boys. [Then if you look outside of high school, there are actual MEN, not boys];)

About a month into the school year, I remember that I worked it out for me to be talking in front of Hermit (Short for Hermit Crab. Obviously, this is not his real name.) to my friends about Kik. With the bait thrown out in the air, he mentioned that he had one and we traded usernames.

When I got home, I had a message from him. We started texting awkwardly back and forth. He pretty quickly suggested playing 20 questions or something (the innocent kind!). This would have been an ideal time for me to pack my bag and leave to find a new destination. !FUCKBOY ALERT! even if it was kept non-sexual.

It went pretty well, I guess. But I was super awkward, as always. Eventually we got into some "deep" stuff. Right then and there is when I definitely should have legit ran away from him.

He brought up that he was "kind of" depressed.

(Now before anyone goes off on me saying "OMg, WhY wOuLd yOu SaY tO rUN???!?! That's so r00d!! Help himmmmmmmm.", just know I'm reflecting on this 3 years later and I know this is the point where things should have stopped. Currently, right now and hopefully in the future, I don't cut people off that tell me they're depressed. I'm just more cautious. So, LET ME CONTINUE. Ahem.)

And being the nice, sympathetic person I was, I adamantly befriended him and let him know that if he needed anything I would be there for him to talk to.

However, this wasn't your "stereotypical" depression. Sure, I think he did have some hard things going on at the time but they weren't really that bad. Though, who am I to judge the effects that certain events have on someone else? My interpretation now is that he used depression as an attention get-er. He was really just your stereotypical angsty teen.

Anyway, we did get closer and I was always there to help him if he needed someone to talk to, like I said I would be. I hope this doesn't come across conceited at all, because I'm not trying to be like 'IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII helped him through all this crap'.

We became really good friends and I'm pretty sure I gave him some good consolation that he appreciated at the time.

There was one particularly instance early on where Hermit was particularly upset over something. I honestly don't remember what, but he was in a depressed mood. We sat on the bus together and he wasn't really talking to me like he usually did. We were just listening to music together and he was looking . . . not so great. I pestered him about what was wrong and I don't recall him telling me what it was. If he did, I think it was a vague answer. I didn't really know what to say or do. So, I just leaned my head on his shoulder and awkwardly hugged him (first time I ever did) as best as I could on a bumpy school bus. At first, he was taken by surprise at my action but then he leaned back on me and into my embrace. We stayed like that until the end of the ride. Again, I'm sorry, I don't remember the details after that, but I do know he said "thank you" when we had to part.