True Stories From My Terrible Love Life [✓]

The Two People I Would Go Gay For

The weird things is this: A lot of lesbian and bi people like me. I mean, LIKE-LIKE me. More girls have liked me than guys have.

I think I have only ever had two guys show interest in me enough to ask me out on a date. (I said no to both, but that will be in a different chapter.) But, I have had at least four girls like me that I can remember.

The first time ANYONE ever talked to me about their feelings was in 8th grade. She was a really sweet, funny, awkward (in a cute way), and genius girl. We were well acquainted since we had mutual friends. When I first found out she had a crush on me I. FREAKED. OUT.

In my middle school, I don't think anyone was VERY openly gay. It was usually a quiet thing mentioned among friends. If someone was obviously gay, no one really talked about it?? And I definitely don't remember any same sex couples. I'm sure there were a few, but there wasn't any PDA.

So, I freaked out for a few reasons.

One: This was the first time anyone had EVER said they liked me. EVERRRRRRRRR.

Two: I just hadn't been around that many gay people. My middle school was pretty small compared to others, and where I live there isn't really a huge LGBTQ+ community. I didn't know what to expected.

Three: It just felt wrong for me? Awkward? I was iffy on the whole "Is being gay a bad thing? Is same sex marriage a bad thing?" stand point (this was before same sex marriage was legal). People around me all had opinions on it and I didn't know who was right or wrong. I honestly didn't care. Really, I was very neutral. I know what some people are probably thinking, it's either "WHAT???? YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY?" or "WHAAAAT? YOU'RE PASSIVE ABOUT SUCH A TERRIBLE THING?" or something along those lines because that's was everyone was saying to me at the time. Yeah, yeah, calm thyself. Put the pitch forks down. All I knew was that I wasn't gay, so it was whatever. I wasn't opinionated because I hate people being mad at me, especially for something I just believe and I'm active about, as in trying to instigate a fight or argument.

Four: I was scared that some rumor would start up about me if it got around that she liked me. And before you try to come at me again, no, this isn't some far fetched fear. A friend of mine, a year younger, had that happen to her. A girl confessed and when my friend rejected her feelings, that girl went around telling everyone that my friend was lesbian and had done all this "stuff" with her. Yeah, "stuff". It was pretty vivid and gross. Not that I thought the girl that liked me would do this, I thought that maybe if someone else found out it would happen. People have wild imaginations.

Anyway, by the end of that year. I got over it and that girl got over me.

There was also another girl that came onto me really strong that year, but closer to the end. I didn't really know her since we had only had homeroom together in the 7th grade and she had me really creeped out/freaked out or whatever. I just remember her calling me beautiful and smart and how she wanted to ____ me. Fill in the blank. Yeah. It still makes so uncomfortable today that I don't even want to type it. BUT, this doesn't just go for girls. I would be uncomfortable if I guy came on this strong, too.

Two more girls confessed to me during high school. They were both actually pretty good friends of mine. I didn't go to the same high school with either of them, but we kept in touch after middle school. They were both very brave in telling me because they both knew I was straight and didn't know how their feelings would effect our friendship. I told them I cared for them very much but I couldn't return those types of feelings. I loved them like family and that just wasn't my sexual orientation, but that would not change anything about us being friends. Never in a million years would I end a friendship just because someone told me they were gay. They're still amazing friends now.

Currently, nothing has changed about my sexuality. Sloth is still wrong. I'm not lesbian, but there are two girls that I would honestly go gay for (sorry if I'm not being politically correct with my phraseology). You can't help but like them down to the very essence of their beings.

First, is my Wife. That's a given. We've known each other since the second grade, when we met at church during Sunday School. We've been friends since we were eight years old . . . that's more than half of our lives. We're so similar, but different in the right ways. She's been there for me whenever I've needed her. For heavy, emotional stuff or to listen to me whine about something stupid I've done. She's the sweetest and cutest. Ugh, I don't know how to put a decade of friendship into words. She's perfect.

The other is a girl from school named Sparrow. There's nothing you can't love about her. Honestly, cross my heart and hope to die. Everyone loves her. She's hilarious, cute, and passionate. She's passionate about so many things and when you hear her speak on a topic you just want to get up and do something with your life. We also have a lot in common. And, I don't mind her flattering comments because she's just that nice.

Sparrow is very bi and confident in her sexuality (my Wife is also confident but she's straight). One day Sparrow was just showering me with love, calling me cute and adorable. I told her I would go gay for her because she's also just that cute, to which she laughed in reply and said that was her goal in life.

Sadly, she has a boyfriend.

Damn it.

Sparrow has also told me she would wife me when we were talking and she was going through the music on my phone. I threatened to steal her from her boyfriend and she said go ahead. *smirk, smirk*

Honestly, these two women are beautiful and so supportive and caring. I adore both of them to death. All the love.