True Stories From My Terrible Love Life [✓]

Little Things?

Currently up to date, bitches.

(For the most part.)

As of late, my friends have really honed in on the how Ocelot and I interact.

Recently, Coati came back into town for some "errands" (not my place to put her personal life on here) and to get her nose pierced. It worked out for me to be able to see her. We met up at a park and just chatted away about things that had been happening recently until it got dark.

After that, we went by Nilgai's house so Coati could drop off her gift to her. Sadly, none of our other friends were able to meet up with us.

Coati and I needed a place just to hang out at for while. Somewhere in town where her parents could pick her up, somewhere that was away from where I worked (because I had taken off for a legit reason last minute and that fell through so I had time to meet with Coati and I just didn't want any of those people to see me), and somewhere I could get food because I was a little hungry (Coati probably was too, but I was buying and she's one of those people that always denies they want anything if you pay).

Soooooooooooooooo, I suggested that we go to the place where Ocelot works. Partly because I had a gift card and partly because it was in town and partly because it was far enough from my work that none of my coworkers would randomly show up andpartlybecauseheworkedthereLOLihatemyselfmate. Lololoololololol.

We showed up and I instantly started regretting my decision. I started freaking out and feeling like a creep, Ew, why did I have to show up to his work place. Badideabadideabadidea.

We walked in and Ocelot was behind the front counter. He saw us and we waved. He came out to give us quick hugs.

I fretted over the menu for a while, before we finally ordered something for Coati and I to split. I wasn't that hungry and the appetite I did have was slowly disappearing.

We stayed there for a good long while, until Coati's dad showed up. We were probably there about an hour and a half. We spent the time video chatting with Toucan and just talking about things.

One funny thing that happened was this: We were seated in a booth across from each other and we propped Coati's phone against the wall. So, Toucan was looking down the table and we leaned over to be in screen. Thus, Toucan still had a view across the restaurant. Toucan was on speaker and said really loudly "Ew, why is that lady staring at me?"

Coati and I both looked over and the booth next to us that was formerly empty, had a woman sitting there by herself and waiting on her food. We tried to hold in our laughter, but it was so hard.

I said to the lady, "I'm so sorry!" before putting my head down on the table and fake coughing to try not to laugh.

Coati and I whisper-yelled at Toucan about what she had done. She didn't realize how loud she was.

Anyway, back to the main story. During the time we were there, Coati freaked out about every little thing Ocelot did. Multiple times he walked by us to talk and he even brought us free cookies.

"Oh my gosh! As he's walking away he does a double take! He keeps looking back at you!"

"He keeps glancing over at you from behind the counter!"

"Did you see that? To deliver the food to that table, he took the long way around all the tables and had to walk by us. He could have just cut across right there!"

He even came by to sweep and clean tables near us when he didn't have to, so he could talk to us. Coati squealed about this, but I feel like he would have done that if any of his friends had shown up.

He also randomly came down and sat next to me while he was still working. Coati freaked out about that too because of how close he was. I was sitting towards the edge of booth and he had come and plopped down, right up against me (I scooted over to give him room).

Eventually we left, giving him a hug before we did so.

Recently, Nilgai also made a comment about the small things he does. "He always touches you. Like your arm or hand. It's so cute!"

I made a face. "No, he doesn't."

"Yes, he does!"

An argument ensued.

+++

That first part was written a month ago, so here is what happened during the month of April.

Nothing much.

Yeah.

We didn't hang out and we went into that awkward phase again. The one that happened before, after the church and teaching him to drive stick, where we didn't really talk and we kind of ignored each other for the most part. It was also that weird thing where we stopped joking around as much.I felt like I was annoying him again.

I would try to start a conversation or SOMETHING, but the answer was 'yeah' with a small smile. Or maybe a laugh. Or maybe just a one sentence answer.

The longest conversation we held was when he was telling me how things went after prom. I didn't go. He did. He and his friends did some pretty crazy things, I guess. Drank, almost went to a sketchy after party, blasted music in a hotel room until the police came to tell them to turn it down, and blah blah blah.

I feel like a did something wrong or I just bug him or or or or or or or . . . and so on.

(Note the present tense.)

Maybe I'm just a needy bitch.

The only reason I can think of that it WOULD NOT be me, is that he's just tired. He works almost everyday after school, usually getting one day off a week, if that. Perhaps he's just too tired . . . (doubt it).

Honestly, idek what's going on.

I want to be friends, but at this point I feel like we're just using each other to do crazy things and just not be alone while doing so. Well, "using each other" might be strong terminology.

But, there's just not a friendship developing it. Just the same acquaintanceship. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. NO SUBSTANCE. Were not really getting to know each other.

I don't know how to explain it, but UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It's frustrating. So, damn frustrating.