True Stories From My Terrible Love Life [✓]

A Needy Bitch Am I

lol hep

On a Monday about three weeks ago from today (May 22nd), I asked Ocelot if he wanted to do something that Friday. I would have my internship class period, but I don't usually go on Fridays. Plus, I had off work. I was freeeeeeeeee.

He checked his calendar. He had nothing with family, but he had work and could more than likely trade shifts.

The next day I asked Ocelot if he was able to get off work. He said, "Oh. No, I don't think anyone is going to want to trade for a Friday."

That seems like he didn't even try, doesn't it?

His tone of voice implied that he had even forgotten about it.

The day after that, I published the "Little Things?" chapter. After reading it, My Wife and Toucan both strongly advised me to talk to Ocelot about my concerns. If you don't remember those, skim the last half of that chapter. I'm too lazy to re-explain everything.

At first I was quite reluctant. I'm not a confrontational person and I don't like talking about my feelings. But, I finally acquiesced because I finally got annoyed enough with the whole situation.

I thought hard on what I wanted to say and how to explain myself. I didn't want to come off as terribly whiny or anything of that sort. I didn't want to be like one of those girls who gets  offended by everything. Nor did I want to seem like I over-analyze every little thing (even though I kinda do).

Basically my monologue included: saying the whole spiel wasn't because I was rejected about Friday, asking if I bug him about always asking him to go places, asking him if I'm overbearing, and asking if we're even friends.

I thought I had it down, so that Thursday I sat next to him in first period, as usual, and said, "Hey, if you don't have anything to do on the bus this morning, do you mind riding with me [to the other school]? There's something I want to talk to you about--it's nothing too big. Just me being a whiny bi-atch. If you can't do today, we can do it tomorrow."

I could feel my face heat up a little in embarrassment.

Ocelot did his little slight-wide-eyed look that he usually does when he's thinking (it's stupidly cute). "Okay . . . but I think tomorrow would work better."

"Okay, tomorrow then."

We gave each other little smiles and went about our business.

The next day, I was hesitant. I decided that I wouldn't ask him about going with me again. As I have previously mentioned a thousand times, I didn't want to annoy him. If he remembered, it would happen. If he didn't remember, I would take it as a sign not to say anything and that it wasn't meant to be.

Guess what? He didn't remember, or just chose not to ride with me.

At the end of first period, I interacted with him. He never mentioned anything about going with me. I tried to make eye contact with him as we were leaving the classroom, but he walked the other way to the bus.

The next week, I found out he was driving to school himself (because my friends and I were going to skip first period during a senior meeting [no, my teacher didn't care. one time she told me to just leave if i didn't want to go] and I invited him along, but he said he drove and his brother was riding with him so he couldn't leave).

Darn.

For the rest of the school year, I wouldn't be able to talk to him during the car ride to the other school since he himself was driving now.

And so, our weird barely-talking-awkward-phase continued.

Things always work out perfect, ya know?

But did all this BS really matter? After three weeks from that day, we would never see each other again.