If Only

The Medication

Over the course of the summer my mother had all my friends come down to my new town. But something was still off with me. I mean don't get me wrong I felt much better but I still got the dreams. By the time summer was over I had seen all my friends. But I felt worse not better. I don't know why. But they brought back memories of home that I forgot I had.

One the first day of school I found my friends and sat down in the cafeteria. I talked to Megan for a few minutes until we were dismissed to first period.  After school I walked to the library. I got a book on Algebra because I suck at math and a book on poetry. I was determined to get good grades.

Once I got home I started in on the little home work I had before getting a shower and going to bed. I had a dream that night.

I was on the swing at my old house. I was swinging and looking up at the sky. If I looked straight up and at nothing else I felt like I was flying. I turned around and smiled, my dad was mowing the lawn. I could smell the freshly cut grass. My sister and brother came outside and started to throw the grass at me.  I threw it back. We went on like this till dinner time. My mother wouldn't let us in the house until we were not green. We all had grass stains on our cloths and skin. My siblings and I started laughing, we went to the basement to get the hose and took it outside to hose ourselves off. When we went back to the front door my mother had towels waiting for us. Once we were dry she finally let us in for dinner.

I woke up in a puddle of sweat. I was crying recalling the familiar memory hurt so much. I missed my home. I missed the way the grass smelled and how the air smelled like rain after a thunderstorm. How you could see the stars clear as day at night. I missed it all.

I went to school the next day with noticeable under eye bags. I would of covered them up but I didn't care enough to.My friends noticed but I said it was nothing just insomnia. They believed me because I do suffer from insomnia a lot. I had a therapy session that afternoon. I didn't tell her about the dream but she could tell something was wrong by how fatigued I looked. She prescribed an anti-anxiety medication. Is this bitch for real?was my first thought but the more I thought it over the better it sounded to get away from my own mind for awhile.