If Only

The messsges

A few weeks later I was walking to the library because I had a book to check out about algebra. I was thinking about this boy I like at school. He was really nice and funny but we barely talked and I was scared to talk to him. When I left the library I ended up getting more than one book and left with three. I was two houses down from mine and I heard yelling behind me. It was my crush and his friend. They were fighting over what I didn't know. I stood there and stared for a minute before he saw me. When they stopped fighting he winked at me and started to walk away. What the hell? I ran to my house and went to my room. I was confused. And I don't think I like him anymore.

The next day at school he stopped me in the hallway next to my locker and asked me what I was doing after school. It was Tuesday and I had support group but I didn't want him to know that. All of a sudden I hear Mr. Brace behind me " Are we still on for tutoring after school Amanda ?" I turned to him and nodded grateful. My old crush scoffed and turned away. He said he didn't want to date a nerd. I for some reason felt hurt.

I went to support group that night and didn't say anything. I was barely listening. I felt my phone go off in my bag. When I looked at it I had a text from a random number

You're too ugly to ever be my girlfriend. Maybe if you were to keep your head out of those books and go to the gym and lose a few ....well you would still be too ugly for me

I was shocked. What did I do to this person? Who were they to begin with? I excused myself and almost ran out of group. For some reason I let this text get to me. I ran home and got the hottest shower in my life. The water was burning my skin making me red. But I didn't care. When I got out I looked at myself in the mirror maybe they were right. I was ugly. I went into my room and went to bed.

The next morning I had three more text messages from the same person. I read them before I got ready for school. I took some extra time on my make up this morning and curled my hair. I put on a white top and black skinny jeans. I matched my black adidas with it. When I went to school everything was normal. But I saw Ryan-my old crush- looking at me in disgust. I looked down and kept walking. When I got to my locker I put my book bag inside and took out my books for my morning classes.

After art class I went to social studies and I quietly took my seat. I couldn't stop shaking my leg. I was nervous for a reason I didn't know. When class ended Mr. Brace told me to meet him after school. I went to my locker before lunch to put my books away and I checked my phone. I had even more messages. I read them all and a single tear fell down my face. I grabbed my lunch and threw it in the trash. I wasn't so hungry anymore. Instead I went to the library and read a book. Right before lunch was over I went to the bathroom and touched up my make up.

After school I went to Mr. Braces room. He asked me if I was alright and said that I was acting weird in class. I just replied that I was fine and quickly left. When I got home I did my homework. I had a science test tomorrow and had to study for it. At 5 o'clock I put on a pair of leggings and a workout shirt. I finish it off with my Niki's. I ran to the gym which was about a half mile away. I got home around 8 o'clock and made myself a salad I missed dinner and I was so hungry. After I ate I got s shower and went to bed.

That Saturday I went to the mall with my mom
and looked around. My phone was blowing up with messages. I decided to block the number. And the messages stopped. As I left the mall a few hours later I got a text message

You think you can get rid of me. Nice try. I'm everywhere I will always find a way back.

At this point I was starting to get scared. When we got home I put all the new clothing in my closet and headed to the gym. I had lost five pounds in four days and I was so happy. I had skipped the last meeting and I was surprised but Mr. Brace didn't mention it.