If Only

Hiding

I decided not to tell Nathan about the razor or anything. It would only worry him and I didn't want to do that. So I kept it to myself and went on with my life. Nothing happened for a while. I went to school I came home, I went to group I came home, and back to school again and again. It was really repetitive. Nathan kept me interested with this and that. He would talk to me about the books I was reading. But in all we were both bored of this small town that we call home. And I was bored of life to be honest, it's so bland.

I was in art class one day and I looked up from my drawing to look at the other side of the room where a commotion had begun. Megan was talking loudly to Masie. Almost shouting, and the art teacher had just left the room. I could easily hear what they were saying. And within a few seconds I felt the blood drain from my face and my whole body go numb. "Why do you even stand up for that cutting freak! She'll be dead soon anyways, she's suicidal. Didn't you know that Masie? O right you don't listen to what is said around here. Listen to my voice Masie, she's a freak stay away from her!" Megan all but screamed. Masie looked my way then back at Megan. She just walked backed to her seat and continued her painting. I quietly put my sketch book back into my bag and left the room. I ran down the hallway so that I'd be far away when the teacher got back.

I stopped running when I was on the ground floor no where near any classes. This is where things like wood shop and the maintenance workers are. I walked until I found a dark and quiet corner. I sat down and cried until my eyes were red and puffy and I was out of tears. I can't believe it's happening again. I hate her. I heard the bell ring for next period but I stayed where I was. Nathan would worry but I couldn't force myself to move I sat there frozen, numb to the world.

Nobody went by my corner for almost an hour. And when they did it was just a maintenance man who didn't see me in the dark corner. I started to get bored so I got out my book and began to read. The book was really good, it was about a man who sailed across the sea to find his daughter who was taken by a kidnapper.

I had skipped five periods and my legs were starting to cramp form not moving in almost 5 hours. I slowly stood up and walked into the hallway to stretch. I picked up my books and started to walk. I walked to the first floor where my locker was. I opened it and put my books from my morning classes away. I decided to clean up my locker there was a bunch of random crumbled up papers at the bottom. I took them all out and set them on the floor. I organized my books and took out all the water bottles. Then I went through the papers they were mostly old assignments but a few were notes from random people, the notes were very mean.

I threw them away in the closest trash can and packed my book bag. Since I've already been marked absent four times I just went home. I walked out through a side door of the school and took the long way home. When I got there my parents were both at work just like I expected. I went upstairs and sat on my bed. I looked at my desk and sighed. I stood up and opened the draw with the razor. I looked at it and sighed again. I walked to the bathroom knowing what I was gonna do next.