for the better. | grayson dolan ✔

forty-five

edit; please read the authors note at the end!

::
45

"what?" came my hoarse voice, my throat completely dry.

"i have cancer" he repeated, completely calm as if it was no big deal

i stared at him. unsure of what to or even how to breathe for a moment.

i didn't know what came over me but i ran to him and hugged him as tight as ever.

i couldn't believe it, i cried into his chest. he was shocked but eventually put his arms around me

suddenly i wanted it to stay like this.

just me and him.

"ash your mo-" ethan said opening the door.

we broke the hug.

he stepped in and sighed.

"you told her?" he asked grayson,

grayson slowly nodded and sat back onto his bed.

i quietly got up and left, i cried walking home.

grayson hadn't been the best to me but you realize how important someone is to you only when you lose them.

"ashley?" abby asked, looking at my tear stained face as soon as i got home

i didn't answer and ran up the stairs, she followed me and sat on my bed waiting for an explanation.

i paced back and forth, thinking of all the great memories. though they were limited, they still made me smile

the plane ride, hanging out, when we first met.

i took a deep breath,

"grayson..." i took a shaky breath, the phrase unable to roll off of my tongue

"has cancer"

she let out a shocked gasp. a tear sliding down her cheek soon after. she didn't say another word, leaving the room

she was probably going over to the twins.

i had promised not to cut myself but the thoughts of relieving this horrible moment with a razor blade ran through my mind

i couldn't deal with this.

i walked to the bathroom and locked the door, my eyes were blurry with tears as i grabbed the razor for what i wished to be the last time.

i just needed a getaway

one cut.

two cuts.

"ashley" maddy yelled from outside the door,

they cared for me when no one else did.

but i kept going. selfishness

three cuts.

"ashley open the fucking door!" amber yelled through gritted teeth, twisting the door knob.

four cuts.

"ashley please" came victoria's soft pleading voice

i stopped, she had been through alot with grayson.

she loved him.

he broke her.

they cared for me, mom cared for me. they would all be broken if i did this to myself.

grayson would be broken if i did this to myself

i tried to stand up but i couldn't. dizziness taking over and my body collapsing to the floor.

"call ethan!" i could hear maddy yell

everything was fading away, i couldn't deal with this anymore.

five cuts.

six cuts.

"ashley, please don't do this" victoria said softly, something about those words stopped me.

i was going insane.

ethan burst through the door followed by abby and the girls.

"ashley what the fuck?!" he asked, lifting me up.

i cried into his chest.

maddy grabbed my wrist and washed it while amber put some bandages on. he laid me in my bed and i was gone

1 WEEK LATER

i watched the sky turn from blue to purple, the colours mixed as if they were on a canvas. the breeze flowed through my hair as the waves washed the sand from my feet.

"its freezing" brent commented, coming to sit behind me.

i turned to him and smiled, then turned back to admire the scene.

"whatcha thinking about?" he asked, hugging me from behind.

"nothing" i replied shortly.

lies.

"you okay?" he asked, letting go of me and sitting beside me.

"yup" i answered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

lies.

"ash..." he started

"mhm"

"whats that?" he asked, grabbing my wrist.

i pulled away,

"i just got hurt"

some scars are left to heal while others remind you of all the pain you've been through, these scars reminded me of the people i had lost.

people who meant the world to me but i wasn't for them.

"ice cream?" brent asked,

"sure" i said, sending him a smile.

we got up and gathered our stuff, walking away, fingers intertwined.

some things happen only, for the better.

a/n: hello! this was the last chapter of 'for the better'! the sequel is posted as well and is fairly short. it will be edited next. i remember really enjoying writing this book years ago, even though it was super cringe and made no sense at times, it shows me how much i have improved as a writer which is why i am not taking it down or doing major editing on it. id like to keep it as original as possible to when i actually wrote it a few years ago just as something to look back on years down the road. i thank those who were respectful of my constant mention of bts during it. i love to combine things i love and they are some of the people who really make me smile day after day. i hope you all enjoyed this not so well written book. stay safe during uncertain times like this! wear a mask and stay smiling!

you can follow me on instagram for more books (have posted 5+ books on there) along with wattpad book updates! : @hobiscult

thank you again, lots of love!
- zay