Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

29. The One Where It's Too Much

Not bothered by Dhruv's words, I latched the car door open and sprinted into the house. Five hours since he conveyed to me about the news of the death. Five hours since he didn't pick his phone again whilst I tried to swallow another piece of a tragedy of my life.

"Papa!" I shouted in the mansion. "Papa!"

He came out of his room, frown resided in his face as he faced me. "Alina."

Seeing him, I ran and hugged him tightly as if it would keep the nightmares at bay, stop the horrifying dreams knocking at my door, halt the bad news stringing one after another without caring the state of my heart.

Why was everything happening at once?

"Is it true?" My voice came muffled in his chest.

"Yes. Do you want to see her body? It's supposed to be burned by five."

"She can't go to burial grounds," Mom's voice heckled our talks. "She's not married."

"Bullshit," Dad cursed. "You know I don't believe in such stuff. Let's go?" Dad promoted. I nodded in his chest, withdrew back a little and had no tears left to cry for her death even.

"Can Dhruv come with us?" I twirled my head to look at him coming inside the house. "Please. Can you come?" He nodded and when I looked back at dad, he nodded and we started withdrawing out of the house.

Settling in the back seats, I felt Dhruv's hand on me, encouraging me to stay strong if it was even possible. I didn't change my gaze and stared out the window at another memory of mine, to another land of past, and to another twist of it.

"Alina, what happened to your uniform?" I gawked at my school uniform or if it could be called a uniform anymore with mud sticking to it. Meena Aunty crunched down in front of me, patted her hand on the mud and shook her head. "I told you not to play in rain."

Giggling, I faced her. "All my friends were playing."

"They're stupid," She scowled. "Go and change. Your mom will get angry if she sees you in such state."

"I don't want to." I placed my hand on her dress, wetting it with the mud pasted on my hands. "The driver had scolded me. Fire him."

She raised her lips in amusement. "Nine and such an attitude."

"Papa says nobody can scold me." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not made for scolding."

"Of course you aren't. Who can scold such an innocent face?" She pulled my cheeks with a grin wrapping her face. "It's raining. Want to eat pakodas?" I nodded enthusiastically and threw my bag on the floor. "Go and change."

"Help me." I caught her hand, dragging to my room. "With my hair. They're so sticky."

"Alina, I've to work."

"You're my caretaker. So you listen to me."

"Such an attitude. You're your father's daughter. Let's run. Who reaches the room first wins and gets an extra movie night. Ready . . ."

Before she could further say anything, I broke my grip on her hand and dashed upstairs.

The sudden halt of the car revived me out of the memory. It was a memory of the past, a warm memory. At least, she died with happy memories rather than Kabir who gave me another nightmare to get through. How could he think I could heal without him? How could he break every part of us without giving a thought to it?