Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

51. The One Where I Felt Unsafe

*Wait. Take deep breaths. Now proceed.

"Alina!" The shouting of my name woke me up from the sleep. Checking the time on the watch, I was about to fall back on the bed but the echo of my name heckled it. "Alina!"

It was dad's voice. Was he fine?

Panicked, I kicked the blanket and ran out of my room to downstairs. I had told him not to eat sweet things, I had banned every item that could be dangerous for his health. What if he had eaten something in his office? But I had guided his assistant to make sure he didn't touch them.

Reaching the hall, I found his white pale face. "Papa, are you okay?" I asked frantically.

He changed his gaze to me. "You need to call Kabir."

"Why? Is everything okay? He must be in the office."

"Alina," He said soothingly. "I need you to sit down."

"What is it? Why you sound so scared?" I skidded to look at the TV screen, read the headlines and stumbled back. To confirm what I was seeing, I read it again but nothing changed. Frantically, I looked for the remote to find it in his hand. As if reading what I meant, he passed it to me and I changed the channel but nothing changed. "No. No."

"Alina-"

"Kabir," I gasped. "They're checking."

"They did it," He said slowly. "No-"

"Kabir." The remote fell from my hands. Without hearing anything, I ran out of the house, grabbed the keys from the driver's hand and slid into the car's seat.

Twisting it out of the driveway, I put it in the lane of his house.

It was a lie. Of course, mom and dad plane couldn't crash. We were having dinner day before yesterday, together, laughing and planning our marriage. We were happy. They couldn't die, not without any explanation and goodbyes.

They wouldn't die.

They couldn't die. It was a joke.

There may be more than one flights to Australia.

Parking my car, I latched the door open, marched into the house and before, I could shout for him, I found him sitting in the hall, staring at the TV. The same news reached my ears, the same graveness echoed in my heart I had felt when I heard it, the same fear I felt.

He was so emotionless, sitting there with his phone ringing in the background over and over again.

Before I could speak, Rahul came running next to me and his feet halted at the sight of Kabir's silent figure.

Kabir, speak something. Don't be silent and stare at the TV.

"Kabir," I said shakily and sat next to him.

He didn't turn his head, just picked the call and put it against his ear. "Yes, masi," He breathed heavily. "I saw the news. I went to the airport." And he didn't even call me once. Who was I say to anything? I hadn't seen my phone even and I had put it on silent last night. "They're dead."

It felt different hearing it from someone else rather than knowing it and yet, denying it. Hearing confirmed what I had seen was right. Hearing made everything real. Hearing allowed the hurt to consume you. Hearing shattered everything into tiny little pieces.

I didn't hear the rest of the words and found him placing the phone back on the table.

"Kabir-"

"Nisha doesn't know," He said, lowering the TV's noise. "I didn't tell her. She had her exam. Rahul, can you pick her up?" He passed his hands through his hair, spared me a glance. "You need to change your clothes. Everyone is coming. We have a funeral to prepare."