Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

2. The One Where I Mourn

[ A L I N A 'S P O V ]

"Want another?" Kabir asked, grinning at my behavior. Agitated, I threw the tissue box at him but he shifts his body at the right time, letting the box fall across the hall, disappearing into his room.

How could he grin at it?

"I don't want to stay with her!" I exaggerated. "She tore my book. That was my favorite book. Poor Jace and Clary." Sniffing, I cleaned my cheeks with the help of tissue paper.

As soon I had seen my torn book in her hands, I had screamed, like a big scream. All she had to say in her defense was that she lost her mascara. For a mascara, my book had to be killed. What was fair in all of it? So, like a mature girl, I waved it off, but intentionally, I was thinking of inviting my fellow shadow hunters to come and hunt her because she was a demon. A demon who could kill Jace.

My book boyfriend.

I had even gotten my stele and ruins ready.

"But I like that girl." Wearing a smug look, Kabir sat opposite to me. "Some guts she has to tear your book and not even saying sorry."

"She killed my boyfriend." I pinned him with my glare. "By the angels, she killed him."

"I'm alive, bookworm." He passed his gaze through the tissue balls grazing his new apartment floor, frowning. "You make too much mess some days."

"I'm talking about Jace."

Getting up, he flicked my forehead with the back of his hand. "I didn't know you were cheating on me. Shouldn't I punish you?"

"Go away!" I pushed away. "Let me mourn. Do you've white clothes? Shadow hunters wear white on death."

"We also wear white," He deadpanned. "And are you insinuating to wear my clothes?"

Like a switch, blood flooded to my cheek which increased his amusement and he pulled my cheeks. I hated this habit of his and he knew I hated this habit because he grinned. Angered, I started pushing him towards the floor, and my efforts proved to be beneficial as he was thrown on the floor.

Sticking my tongue, I hugged the sofa cushion to my chest.

"You stay there for making fun of me."

Perching on his elbows, he frowned. "Why are you my girlfriend? You're such a drama some days."

I shrugged. "Because you're lucky?"

That to my surprise made him laugh and relaxed on the floor. Didn't he want to get up? He didn't sweep his floor for two days and probably, it was covered with dust. As if sensing it, I traced my finger on the table, feeling the dust. Huh.

"Learning my ego, huh?"

"Shut up," I grumbled. "What if she tore all of my books? How would I read? What would I do without my books? If I don't have books, I would feel sad, and then I would get into panic attacks. Panic attacks? Kabir, do you understand this? It means I've to take my pills again and then cutting will start, nightmares will come. She'll hear me screaming. She'll get scared like Misha did. Oh my god, everything--"

"Shush." Kabir got my hands, bent in front of me with a frown. "Bookworm, you are rambling again. Everything will be okay. You'll talk to her and tell how it troubles you when your books are torn. Work it out. I'm sure she feels regretful. Okay?" I nodded. He touched my cheek, rubbing his thumb on my chin. "Don't overthink again."

Pouting, I replied, "I don't overthink."

"No, you just talk too much. Way too much." He laughed, withdrew his hand from my cheek, making me miss his touch instantly. It had been ten months since we were together, and still, I act like a sickly in love.