Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

30. The One Where I See Everything

[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]

"This ring?" I nodded at the ring jeweler was pointing at. It was the perfect ring for my bookworm, delicate and yet screamed the innocence she held in her face. "It's expensive."

I arched my brows to him, curled my lips into a smirk. "Did I ask about the price?" He shook his head and took the princess cut ring out with a solitaire in the middle. Her previous warnings came back on how to not buy an expensive ring. Stupid girl. How could I choose something less for her?

I dropped another ring I had stolen from her box in the dressing room in the morning. She would kill me if she heard I entered her room for stealing.

"Make it to this size."

"You're buying it?" The jeweler asked, frowning at me. "Can you even-"

"I think I can see it myself." Rolling my eyes, I settled back on the seat and checked my phone. Tomorrow was my birthday and I had to lie to her that I was going to Coaching rather than wasting my time in buying a ring for her.

What a boyfriend.

Tomorrow I was supposed to propose her and no ring was in my hand.

How would she react on seeing the ring? Get angry about why it was expensive? I knew she would surely ask about the price, and I knew the moment I take this much from the card, dad would call me back, demanding why I had used this money.

He would understand.

He would be happy.

"Sir, your ring." Pulling my attention to the ring, I smiled.

This ring was perfect for her.

This ring was a curse for me.

Shutting the small box for the tenth time, I gawked at the drink bestowed in front of me. Placing the box at the side, I swirled the glass in front of me. I should drink it. I had the cure to numb down the veins, to numb down the lashing of my heart, to numb down every inch of love I felt for her.

Two weeks since I was here, two weeks since I was drowning myself in work, tiring myself up and tossing myself in bed at night with the aching body but my hands would fly to tuck her in with me. Why I forgot I slept alone now? Why I forgot she wasn't there anymore?

I left her.

I broke up.

I left her to handle the pieces.

Fucking coward. At least, you could've seen her.

But how do I see her after realizing I was triggering everything in her? How to see when I was her nightmare? What had I done to scare her? She was scared of me. I was her worst nightmare. I was just a nightmare in her life.

Bookworm.

What was she doing? Was she back in Delhi? Was she still in Bangalore? Was she okay or still crying?

Had I done right by leaving her? What if I should've stayed and fought together like we had always done? What if she needed me to fight beside her and make her see how I wasn't her nightmare?

But I was scared.

Scared of what I ruined her further.

Scared of what I might push her.

She was so better.

I couldn't ruin all her progress.

She deserved a life of happiness, not one filled with nightmares.