𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 | 𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢

xi

i stayed up all night crying, staring at the ceiling, sniffling, repeat.

i debated with myself whether i'll go to school or not-- but whatever my mind wants, i just can't skip school. i started crying again, wriggling around my bed and looking at the clock which has 5:48 am on.

i washed myself and did my daily routine-- and while i was eating, my mom came out of nowhere and grabbed my face.

"puffy, red, and scary eyes and cheeks, what have you been doing, child? any problems?" i shook my head sidewards and continued eating my food without appetite. my mom surely sensed it that i wasn't on the mood to talk, neither was going to school.

i stood up and got my bag, then finally left the house. after turns and walks, at the last one, i saw hangyeom already waiting.

i remembered talking to him about meeting here 1 hour before school, and i just fucked up. i ran to him and gave him a friendly jump hug and tried avoiding his gaze.

and utterly failed.

"what happened to you? you look ugly." he said, trying to ease the mood.

"son of a mockerlily, i hate you so much." 

"ohoho~, i love you too, babe." he said and patted my head, then dragged me to the gates. "we're going to be late, suckass." when i checked my watch, it was already time for the morning ceremony, i quickly joined him and held his hands, then ran to the auditorium.

// wonshik's pov

knowing that hyerin is mad at me for teasing her, i patiently waited at a corner from her house, even though it was going to be late. 

when it was 30 mins before the ceremony, i gave up and thought that she wasn't going to school today, and walked to the gates.

while walking, one thing or someone, caught my eye. 

song hangyeom.

he's leaning on a post, then is looking at his phone.

"he's going to cut ceremony, probably." i spoke to myself, and scoffed. i was about to walk again when someone suddenly jumped at him.

i squinted my eyes and saw that someone. 

that someone whom i waited for.

was i on the wrong road?

i shrugged those thoughts and looked at them, holding hands like a couple.

did i just lose her?

i just stared at them for a while until they ran, and when hyerin looked at my side, i hid, and took a good look at her unfamiliar face which was very red and puffy.

did she cry? 

what happened?

many questions popped in my head, but decided to run also when i heard the bell ringing from this position.

// hyerin's pov

we arrived just in time, catching our breaths and smiling like an idiot. we quickly lined up and i unconsciously looked for wonshik.

my thoughts were cut off when someone raised my hand, hangyeom.

"looks like you missed holding my hand." he slyly said and winked at me.

"miss your ass." i tried removing my hand with his, but he resisted it.

"let's stay like this."

"no. others might think we're together!" i whisper-yelled, still trying to remove my fingers from his.

we were at the very back of the auditorium, and i was positive that no one would see us. but still, i was scared.

i was at the very point where i'll give my all in pulling my hands, but before that, he pulled me in his embrace, but we were like in a dance position. our foreheads touched, and i was more mesmerized than before.

oh those eyes, that didn't change a little bit. the ones that shine everytime. 

i loved it.

do i still have feelings for him?

"10 little fingers, but then the five got lost, i searched for it, i searched for it, but then it was with me." he sang with his own melody, once again.

he sang this everytime we were holding hands before, and i can't help but tear up again.

"hangyeom, im sorry, i can't." i tried holding up, "your child.."

he closed his eyes and just stayed silent, while our foreheads touching.

"what if i tell you that i still love you, and is falling more in love with you?" he said, and tears start falling in his closed eyes.

"i want too, also, but you can't just leave them behind." i wiped his tears with my thumb, and smiled. "i love you too, hangyeom, but i don't want you to leave them."

he nodded lightly, and smiled, still not opening his eyes.

"open it." i said jokingly, but he shook his head a no.

"i dont want you to see me like this."

"i'm really sorry, hangyeom." i hugged him as much as i can, "friends? or best best best friends?"

"best best best friends." he hugged back and i just laughed it off. 

we suddenly heard a bang from the door, and all attention was there.

being the closest from the door, i looked outside and saw wonshik's back, furious and fastly walking.

"wonshik!" i called, but then he didn't look back. 

i looked at hangyeom and from that time, he knew. 

he knew that i have these feelings.

for wonshik.