e d i t i n g | • »»» • extended summary inside • «««
BOOK TWO IS ALSO IN THIS BUT IT IS DISCONTINUED!
Alexis Cassidy Baxter. Commonly known as Alex. Football; comfort; determined.
Jayden Bryce. Commonly known as Jay. Soccer; "bad boy" (not really...
(For the sake of the chapter, let's pretend Never be Alone by Shawn Mendes was out long ago... like when her dad was around. Thanks x)
Give her hope, and she will win. Give her pain, and she will soar. ✨
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"Take a piece of my heart, And Make it all your own, So when we are apart, You'll never be alone... You'll never be alone" That was my dads favourite song. I never understood the meaning when I was younger. I thought it was honestly pointless.
But now I know why dad lives this tune. I wonder if he thinks about us. Or if he's around. Or... perhaps up above.
I wanted to know him so bad. How much can a 6 year old remember? Apart from the fact her dad left her?
My brain made the logical assumptions, that he left because he was selfish and cold hearted. My heart didn't know what to feel, but my gut? My gut knew that it wasn't his fault. And now I know the reason.
I was laying on my bed. I had gone to shift and Mason allowed me to go home an hour earlier because he was closing the shop a bit earlier than usual. Something about meeting with the team or something.
The song was playing in my ears, my eyes void of any feelings. I know. Because I've seen how freaky it is. And I've felt it many times before.
I don't have to feel sorry. I don't need to feel sorry. It wasn't my fault. But I still felt like I could've done something. Anything. Oh the things I would do get him back.
I know I shouldn't. I know I should listen to him. Not to look for him. But why? Because it would be too hard to bear? Or is he scared for us? For us because of Mom? Because of Ron?
I had many unanswered questions, swarming and locking my mind. It scared me to think of the many possibilities. What if this? What if that?
My brain went haywire.
This is exactly why I do stuff to drown myself. Work, football, anything. It makes me forget life's problems. The miseries it puts us through.
All that I did may have been unhealthy, but I was happy. Yes, it was under an illusion. Yes, it was all fake. But I would rather feel something close to happiness than this big whole right in the middle of my heart.
Yes, my dad was our hero. He was my hero. He taught me the thing I love to do. Play football. His arms were the ones I would search for when I fell. Not my moms. Not for Cody's. Or anyone's.
It was his.
He was my bloody rock. Before I was leaning on him, and now? Now I feel like I'm alone. I have Cody. I have Uncle Leo.
