Love and War

Chapter Nine.

y/n's POV

colby left and i was alone i sat on my bed thinking of what just happened just 2 days ago colby was beating me up and now... now hes fucking me what happened to him did sam scare him that much

idk and i dont care i like this side of colby and i never want to see the other side ever again i started to replay every time me and colby crossed paths 

(1st time)

i closed my eyes remembering being happy sitting on the grass of our high school football team i lay between the 20 and 40 yard lines in the dead center with my bag ext to me my coffee in my left hand and my phone in the other scrolling through Instagram when i saw colby sitting alone on those cursed bleachers why was i so stupid to go try and make a new friend knowing im socially awkward and have a very bitchy personality i remember the smallest details the time the weather my outfit his outfit the people around i even remember the post i was looking at when i saw him... (out of my thoughts) OMG i was looking at one of sams posts when i saw colby it was about him creating a new youTube channel and trying to find someone to do it with (just a small detail i thought i wanted you guys to know ok back t my thoughts) why did i ever jhave to get up and waalk over to him when i saw his red tear stained face i should have walked away but no i decided to ask what was wrong

(2nd time) 

i walked over to my locker and opened it as 2 robot snakes jumped at me and  made me fall over colby started laughing and walked over to me screaming at me (a tear rolls down my face) he kicked me and spit on me he hurt me so much 

(3rd time ps i haven't written about this yet)

this is the worst of our crossing paths i was at my locker and i shut it to see colby standing there he pushed me against my locker and tryed to kiss me but i ducked under his arm and ran to the football field and sat at the bleachers were we first met regretting my whole life right then and there he over to me and pushed me down so i was laying on the bleacher seat he screamed at me for running away and not excepting his kiss "your worthless piece of shit why the fuck did you run away fro me you should be luck to have a guy like me around to torture you it wouldn't be as fun if i did look this way" i stayed silent and that made him even more mad so he slapped me and then held my face and kissed my lips and i tried to get away but i couldnt sadly i was wearing a dress and he pulled it up and tryed taking off my underwear but i kicked him in the balls grabbed my bad and ran as fast as i could to sam 

that day i never told sam what happened i kept it in but sam drove me home and then left that night i sat in my bathroom looking at my self int he mirror trying to convince myself i wasn't worthless but it was no use i grabbed a blade from my razor and cut myself 7 times on my left arm i remember the tears but i also remember the rush of adrenaline it gave me from the pain i kinda liked it (out of my memorys) 

i remember liking the pain i ran to the bathroom and grabbed the same razor and while i was in the middle of cutting i heard colby scream to stop "y/n WTF are you doing" he grabbed the blad out of my hand as i dropped to the floor crying "why are you doing this" "because of you colby this is all because of you calling me worthless, slut, butch, hoe and property when you say that to me i loose every bit of self confidence i have and this is how i solve it all i cut because i like the way it hurts what happened to the name calling huh what am i now a sex doll because it seems like thats all you ever wanted from me sex remember the time on the bleachers when you tried getting in my pants put hurting me did you think it was cool to be a bully " 

colby's POV

i walked in to her cutting herself and i already knew it was because of me we just became friends i used to bully her and now we havent been friends for 2 days and ive already been in her pants we should have waited she wasnt emotionally ready i asked why in case i was wrong "because of you colby this is all because of you calling me worthless, slut, butch, hoe and property when you say that to me i loose every bit of self confidence i have and this is how i solve it all i cut because i like the way it hurts what happened to the name calling huh what am i now a sex doll because it seems like thats all you ever wanted from me sex remember the time on the bleachers when you tried getting in my pants put hurting me did you think it was cool to be a bully " she said as tears rolled down her cheeks and blood dripped from her wrist " im sorry i didnt think anything like this would happen" i say trying to calm her i grabbed a wet facecloth and placed it on her wrist soaking up the blood but at first she pulls away from the sting after i got all the blood off i grabbed some peroxide and put some on the cloth and wiped it on her cuts as she clenched her fitst in pain "its going to be ok just hand in there" i grabbed gauze and wrapped her wrist with some antibacterial ointment and carried her to her bed and cuddled her as she cried in my shoulder i realized i wanted to be her protector i wanted to keep her safe forever fro the world