Love and War

knee tapping

(while of thinking bout what should happen in this chapter i realized that in the beggining of the story i said she lived on her own and then i said she lived with her mom so just know that she did live alone but now she lives with her mom) 

colbys POV 

i was still a little mad at y/n for hurting sam but we made up we started over. I asked her to be mine and im glad i did. i love being with her when she smiles or laughs i know my cheeks get heated and that i blush. when she walks into the room i instantly become self-conscious and my smile gets wider. 

ive been told its love, but im too young to know what love is. i have an idea of what it is but now an exact definition. the symptoms of love are different for everyone. but for me the effects are simple

1.  a bright smile and... 

2. a blush upon my cheeks 

i was sleeping on the couch because i didn't know how things with me and y/n exactly are. y/n went to get changed as i quickly fall into a deep sleep

--dream--

she stood at her locker. i approached it and leaned against the lockers. when she shut it her eyes met mine. i was going to get my way. i pushed her back against the lockers and attempted to kissed her. before i got to her lips she ducked under my arm that was against the locker supporting me. she ran as fast as she could but not fast enough because i was hot on her trail. she ran to the field and onto the bleachers. i followed but slowed down as i approached. i got to her and pushed her down on the bleachers so she was laying down. then i yeled. i yelled at her for running and not kissing me. i ddint know why i was so mad but i was. i couldnt control it. 

"your worthless piece of shit why the fuck did you run away fro me you should be lucky to have a guy like me around to torture you it wouldn't be as fun if i didnt look this way" i spat at her but al she did was stay silent. her being silent made me even madder than before. so i slapped her. i slapped her as hard as i could i knew it hurt her. i held her face firmly in my hands and kissed her. she tried escaping but i just tightened my grip on her so she couldnt. she was wearing a dress today so i took this as an advantage. i pulled up her dress and started taking off her underwear. i was in the process of doing so when she kicked me. she kicked me in my weakest spot the balls .  then she ran faster than ever before. i drop to my knees and wince in pain letting a tear escape from my tear ducts. 

this replayed 6 times in my head each time getting harder to watch. but i couldn't do anything about it. i was dreaming. people say your in your own dream and that you can control it. maybe we actually can. i thought hard about the situation taking in every detail but nothing i got nothing out of this. i knew nothing why it was happening, why it was repeating, nothing i was completely blank. but thats when i realized what i was missing. it wasnt the scene that was replaying for a reason it was the fact my mind wanted me to remember what the scene caused afterward. and i knew why it was showing me it was a sigh a warning sgin. because after this scene she cut she went home and cut she cut her arms and her thighs because of me. 

i was awoken by a scream. i shot up from the couch and found Natalia and Cassidy screaming and crying looking into the bathroom. i bolted out of beto see why. and when i saw i bursted out into tears too. i ran and scooped y/n up off of the floor and held her in my ferm hands. 

" call 911 now" i scream to the girls and i feel for a heartbeat. 

...nothing... 

...nothing...

...nothing...

i try again and again no heartbeat 

i get a sudden jolt of adrenaline and start giving her CPR to try and restart her heart

...nothing... 

the girls come rushing back in and tell me they are on their way. i look down at the beautiful girl who probably left our world hours ago without me knowing or saying goodbye.  Natalie placed her hand on my bare shoulder giving me a little comfort in this situation. i stopped giving y/n CPR because i knew there was no hope. i look down at her pale body and tears roll down my cheeks i rub my lips back and forth as i stare at her. i eventually sit against the wall and hold her in my arms. i try to feel the little bit of warmth in her but there isnt any. shes cold and limp. natalia and Cassidy wipe my tears away with there hands and hug me. for some reason, there hugs make the situation feel better.  

we were still hugging when paramedics and y/ns mom burst into the room. they pull me and the girls away and out of the room.  i sat in the living room tapping my knee as they tried to revive her. 20 minutes later y/ns mom came out of the room crying. we all looked at her and she nodded.i knew what that nod meant. she was gone. they couldnt save her. she was dead. 

OK guys there will be a part two and we are getting close to the end of this book.

word count: 991