To Join Him

"Oh Oh I know a strip show"

  You've been hanging on to this story long ago, let me tell you my past. My past. Seems simple but yet I was never good enough. Not to my parents, not to my family and of course not to my friends because they don't know. 

        The feeling that you aren't good enough and that everyone is better than you. The feeling that you need to be perfect but aren't.  Anorexia. I have had it since I was 13 years old. When I realized that I wasn't pretty nor was I funny or enjoyable or skinny. I was ugly. So it was simple I stopped eating and tried to be perfect. I became enjoyable and funny and people started to like me but no one knew about my anorxia problem. They still don't know. 

        I am still anorexic but I do have my chocolate problems when I get the urge to eat chocolate but after I eat it i eat nothing for the rest of the day. I know I have wide bones but that doesn't stop me from dreaming. I started working out this year so i gained a couple of pounds making me stop eating chocolate. I still don't feel perfect. 

        Endless times I have wanted someone to tell me 'Hey beautiful' or anything like that but I never get it the only thing that I get was 'You were a mistake' and 'You are bad luck to the family' or 'Try harder'. I got these from my family. Yup my so called 'family'. The day I was born my dad and my grandfather (my dad's dad) were in a car going to check on the my grandfather owned, then they got in a car crash and my grandfather died, my dad however didn't die and survived sucessfully. That day I also got born. 

        My grandfather was very dear to the family and they took it very harshly pouring all their anger on me. My birthday was never celebrated. Not even once. The years passed on and I wasn't welcomed in any of the celebrations or family reunions. So I stopped coming.

        My brother was there for me for a while and then he got on with his own life. He cared about me a lot and we both decided to live alone. My dad was more than happy to know that I was leaving but my mom being my mom protested a couple of times and then she understood. She called a couple of times but nothing much. Living with Rick is amazing really, he doesn't give a shit about anything except when it comes to boys.

        I have told a couple of people about this and by a couple of people I mean two: Rick and Mr Fooda and some what to my friend Amanda.  I have experinced self-harm andattempting to commit suicide but nothing worked. This suddenly sounds like a depressing story. Change the thought now.....

I love you so much.... All these years I've been holding this from you but I can't stand it anymore. I love you and nothing will stop me from feeling so.-N

"YOU BITCH" I  yelled at Amanda the potato head and snached my phone from her.

"What? It was a dare Einstein! Why are you so offeneded Jeeez women"

"Oh man" said Nick failing to contain his laughter. "The guys face would be priceless" He coughed a laugh "I bet he is racing to come here right now."

"Oh man!! Nick you genuise! Is the two minutes over yet?" Amanda yelped and grabbed my phone from me, while Nick shock his head a no.

I think we should settle this now you know? Come by my house I am alone ;) -N

"Way to go I bet I out beat the schools slut Ashley." I said sarcastically.

"Oh My God!!! COLE IS TYPING OH GOD WE ONLY HAVE 30 SECONDS LEFT!" Amanda yelled in excitment while me and Nick came closer to her. "FASTER BITCH" 

Alright babe I am coming don't get too excited, tonight is your lucky night and maybe you could pay me back in another way;) -Jerkpid

Oh really how?-N

Oh yeah, I am going to pull out my guns and watch you scream in terror... -Jerkpid

"Enough niggas, give me my phone back I think I am going to puke." They gave me my phone back laughing their asses of. Why am I hanging out with them again? I span the bottle and it landed on Amanda while she was laughing her but off.

"Dare or Dare Amanda" I asked Amanda.

"Dare of course unless their is physical activity then Dare." She said whipping her tears from laughing.

"Okay, I ummmmmm"

"Oh Oh I got it a strip show!" Nick suggested.

"I said nothing no activties," she said pouting at me.

"I DARE  you to sit on the kitchen and not move for five whole minutes only blink." I said.

"Okay" She said unsure of herself

"Nick go get all the sauces in the fridge and your camera please" I whispered in his ear and he went in the kitchen

        Amanda sat on the kitchen stool and waited, Nick placed the sauces and added flour, cinnamon, eggs and a waterbottle behind her. He held the phone and started recording the scene. I came from behind her and put all the sauces on her head and then opened the dozen egged and crashed them all including the box on her head, she just gasped and shock uncontrolably while covering her eyes shut. I then grabbed the floor and put it behind my back, I took my free hand and lifted her face up.

"Look at me Amanda I am done." I said, she lifted her gaze and I pour the whole flour package on her face, I laughed so hard I couldn't breath, this was historical. I looked at the laughing Nick and smiled at him.

"Dare or Dare Nick?"

"Dare" 

"I Dare you to clean this shit up"