Inside Out Thoughts

scars

You can't see all scares. They don't necessary have to be external. For instance our hearts and minds can be scared. Especially people like me.  

People who have been through many bullies; like me; have a lot of scars. Especially when its by someone you loved. You cant help but remember times when you were happy together. When you shared happy moments. When you loved each other. But as ones you love leave people will fill in their spots and heal what they can. 

My ex is one of those people who caused the most scars. Even though when he does something I'll just laugh it off and pretend like it doesn't bother me but it does. Whatever he says piles up in my mind a replay like a sea of knifes. It does hurt. I wish things could have been different.

But even though he's chosen to hurt me; better and sweeter people have entered my life. My friends never fail to be there for me. I just wish I could be there for them better. 

One of my best friends is such a sweet person but she gets picked on a lot. I want to scream at the people who hurt her. I've written a whole chapter about her but there's just too much to say about her. She's absolutely amazing and never fails to make me smile. She wrote a chapter in her book that's kind of like this one and called me her big sister even though she's older. I burst out into happy tears because just the fact that she looks up to me makes me so happy and makes me want to be a better person. 

I didn't realize till recently how much I love that girl and how much I see her as a little sister too until recently. I feel that over powering protectiveness of an older sister. I feel like I can talk to her about anything an everything. She's honestly such an amazing human and deserves the world. 

She's probably the one person who healed my wounds from my ex the most.