Inside Out Thoughts

SO DONE

Just saying now there's going to be a lot of very strong language. I'm not holding anything back

SO NOW MY FUCKING EX MADE ONE OF MY TOUGHEST FRIENDS ALMOST CRY.

*sigh*

I can't deal with his bullshit anymore. I want to punch him square in the nose. I want to yell at him. My friend told me not to but I wouldnt do it just for her. I would do it for the rest of the girls and myself.

I know it would do nothing.

Hes a psychopath who doesnt care about anything.

But the fact he made my friend almost cry. Is not okay. She's literally made of steal. I've never once see her cry in all the years I've known her. She's apart of my pack. I dont want that dickhead hurting any of them.

HES SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND ITS ALL MY FAULT.

and don't say its not because it is and its the truth.

When we were together I kept him in line and everything was fine.

After I broke up with him all hell broke loose.

My fault.

Okay?

Okay.

And to make matters worse Cassidy has been best friends with him. Shes apart of this whole mess too.

Off topic.

Cassidy was talking about how the trump tower caught on fire because she was in NYC that day and she saw it all happen from her hotel room. Today she was like "Yeah I saw the thing burst up in flames" and she also posted video of the fire on her Snapchat. Whenever she posted a new picture or video I would start to have a panic attack before I quiclly skipped over it and calmed down. When she started saying that today I could start to feel my chest start to tighten and I kinda zoned out for a minute. I couldn't help but think about the ranch. The image of the lodge burning to the ground. My home. Gone. In rubble. I wanted to cry so bad. I wanted to run to the bathroom and let it out. I didnt though. I did have a mini panic attack where I couldnt breathe for a second but we quickly changed the topic.

Cassidy is so insensitive. She knows about the ranch. Yeah she may have forgotten. But for Christ sake a man died in that fire. Its nothing to joke about. I don't care if you don't like him it was still horrible.

I don't even know what to say anymore.

Or what to do.

I'm just gonna go read silence until ive calmed down or until my friend comes back from playing basketball.