Inside Out Thoughts

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I really can't wait till I don't have to see my ex ever again. He was so annoying today. More than usual. He was being homophobic, sexist and racist. He said he hated gay people more than he hates black people. Also in history we were talking about women's rights and how soon it will be 100 years since we got our rights. And he kept mumbling under his breath no one cares. He thinks males are the superior but in reality we are all equal. I hate that I can't push myself to datnd up to him. I think I mainly dont because I know no matter what I say nothing will change.

I'm sitting in after school at the moment at a round table where younger kids eat lunch. A bunch of memories keep flooding back.

I didn't really talk to my friend this morning because I was talking to my pack about mystreet and our theroies. I love talking about it because it just...idk makes me happy I guess. But my beta(I guess shes my beta we havent really confirmed it yet tho) kept on saying I was being mean for not talking to my other friend. First of all when she walked in she didnt even stand by where me and the girls were standing and she didnt even say hi.

And I've recently realized I really am her only friend. Well like a friend shes close too. I've said this before but I feel like thats the only reason she really hangs out with me. I remember in previous years at lunch when we would just sit with eachother and no one else. I remember wanting to sit with the other girls. I wanted to be friends with everyone but she would confine me to one table just for us. And she would get so annoyed when a new school year started and the girls would try and sit with us. Last year we played cards a lot at lunch. I started joining them and my friend asked me if I was friends with them. I was but I knew she would get annoyed so I just said I was being "civil" to avoid drama. She believed me. Even this year she was like "We're totally sitting alone again." I really didnt want to. So thats why I just kind of ignored her whenever she would wine secretly to me that she wanted to sit alone.

Now I feel closer to my pack than her. I'm so happy that I'm friends with the other girls. They're amazing. I'm so grateful for them. Anyways I just really want to sleep right now but my mom said she was still going to be awhile until she picked me up. I'm starving and really bored and I have no Wi-Fi.

Oh whale