Dolan Twins Imagines // 1

Without You // Ethan Dolan

A/N,
Another update for y'all because... a. I'm behind on my schedule and b. I took a hiatus that I shouldn't have. So, for that I'm updating double time for a lil bit.

-KudosDolan

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I kicked a pillow across the room, angry to the point of destruction,

"Ethan! You've done this so many times."

"I know, I'm so sorry. Pleas-"

"No, get out of my house."

"Babe-"

"Get OUT!"

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2 months. 2 months without Ethan and I was finally having relapse. My separation anxiety kicked in and I collapsed to the floor, shaking and crying uncontrollably. Incessant knocks and shouts came from my bedroom door, my parents ending up bursting through the door. They consoled me as we sped to the doctors, but all I really needed was Ethan.

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After 3 more months of medication, therapy, and another anxiety attack, I was back to normal. Everyone in my life thought  I was back to normal. The medication didn't help anything, but it did change my moods. I was overly bipolar for a while and then I stopped taking the pills. The therapist didn't help, he just gave me empty words. After every session, I would go home and lock my door. After this, all that helped me was curling into a ball and rocking back and forth, praying for something. After hours of this, I would get up and cut off my lights, resuming my actions.

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1 year. 1 year of prayers and time alone, my prayers were answered with a miracle. The doorbell rang and I was home alone. Recovering from a recent breakdown without Ethan, I opened the door. Fatigued and close to falling, I gasped as my eyes burned into the concerned hazels that were Ethan's. Immediately, my emotions took over as I jumped into his arms, crying and soaking the shoulder of his hoodie. His scent comforted me as I let him carry me to the couch. I had left the door open and, as I went to close it, he pulled me back down and closed it himself. I was going to say something, but he beat me to it,

"Y/N, it's been a year and I've been literally dying without you. I don't know about you, but I need you. I'm addicted and know rehab can fix it."

"Ethan, I had an anxiety attack. Without you, I have nothing. I am  nothing without you. It's been a year and I've gotten worse. Please, I-"

He cut me off, kissing my lips and hugging me. Pulling his lips from mine, he buried his face into my shoulder, slowly soaking it and drowning the room in his sobs. I rubbed his back, whispering sweetly in his ear. He calmed down and fell asleep, but not before he said,

"Y/N, I am so sorry I hurt you. I've learned my lesson and I came back to see if you'll take me back. I know we can make this work and I know that you may have lost feelings, but I haven't. I've spent my time crying and regretting my decisions and-"

"Sh. Stop. I know Ethan. I know and I will take you back. The pain, the suffrage, all of it was worth it. I love you and-"

I cut myself off, realizing that my feelings were spilling out of my mouth without second thoughts. He chuckled and leaned forward, kissing my cheek,

"I love you too."

With that, he fell asleep, breathing deeply. His head against my chest and my fingers running through his hair, I felt a large weight lifted off of my chest. Him, Ethan Dolan, was my everything and... without each other, what was our everything?

A/N,
Y'all! Another update. It's a lot, but school's out and I have nothing to do. Enjoy and comment your critiques and things. love you

-KudosDolan