Pint Size ➳ Supernatural

Chapter 29: Internal Battles Admitted

Warnings: Death, blood, gore, self-hate.

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"I want to go home."

Evelyn twiddled her thumbs as the words left her mouth, the situation making it hard for her to have eye contact with Sam and Dean. Mary was out of the bunker, going on a supply run for the family, and Castiel was in the armory checking to see if there were any weapons that could be used to find or capture Lucifer.

"What?" Sam asked in confusion, leaning forward slightly to rest his weight against his arm that was placed on the table of the library. Dean leaned backwards in his chair, arms folded over his chest with a hard but unreadable expression on his face.

"I said I want to go home." Evelyn repeated sheepishly, getting a sudden burst of courage to look Sam in the eye-which she regretted after seeing the hurt and puzzled expression on his face.

"Okay." Dean said plainly and suddenly, looking up at his daughter, whose eyes turned to him. Her face displayed that she was nervous; that she didn't want to have this conversation but just couldn't keep it to herself anymore. Dean didn't want to argue with Evelyn. He didn't want to shove hunting any farther down her throat then he already had. He didn't want her to feel obligated to stay in this life, so if she wanted to go home and that meant that Dean could still have a decent relationship with her, then so be it.

"'Okay'?" Sam asked in a surprised tone, turning his body slightly to look at Dean, who was sitting across from him. "Dude, seriously?"

"If she wants to leave, then it's her choice." Dean replied, sitting up a little straighter in his chair, glancing at Evelyn, who was still standing awkwardly at the head of the table the boys were placed at.

"Ev," Sam started, letting out a huff of air, "why do you want to leave?" Evelyn bit her lip and looked between her father and uncle. She forced herself to stop fidgeting with her fingers and held them at her sides instead. Of course, Sam would be the one begging her to stay.

"It's that..." Evelyn let out a sigh, trying to quickly think of how to word her sentences as to not make Sam and Dean more upset. "It's not you guys at all, I promise! I-I just..." Evelyn paused again and Sam could tell that something really was bothering her but she didn't want to say it. He realized, in the beginning, Evelyn was like that; speaking things into existence makes them true.

"I really feel like I'm intruding between you guys and Mary..." Evelyn admitted, her voice having honesty in it. Dean's eyes softened at his daughter as he unfolded his arms, leaning one of them on the table.

"Oh no, Ev, you're not." Dean said, his tough facade cracking as he saw how Evelyn was trying to hide how upset she was.

"But I am." Evelyn pressed, the tone of her voice making Sam and Dean both feel a pang in their chest. Mary had only been back for about a week now and Evelyn had been at the bunker only a day before she came back. Had Evelyn felt this way the whole time?

"She's your mom." Evelyn started, sitting down in the chair next to Sam. "And I know that she's related to me too, but Sam didn't even get a chance to know her and you," Evelyn gestured to Dean who was across from her now, "barely remember her and I feel like I'm just coming between you guys."

"Sister, I promise you're not coming between anyone." Sam said, placing a hand on Evelyn's shoulder as she put her face in her hands. Sam had taken to calling her 'sister' after Dean had blurted it out at dinner a few nights ago. It was a cute, sassy, and whitty nickname; just like Evelyn.

"It's just... I feel bad, ya know?" Evelyn stated, lifting her head from her hands. "And plus I've missed like a week and a half of school, and my mom doesn't want my grades dropping since I'm in AP classes..."