Annoying the Stubborn

f o r t y

Lauren was first to get in their house until Mike's voice halted her first step on the stairs. She turned around with resentment, frowning at her father as if she was a brat. She immediately hated how she described herself and tried to lift her lips even in a bare minimum.

Mike pondered on what he had to say until he got the right words. "You know that we're sorry for leaving you, right? You know that we love you."

"Dad, I'm tired," Lauren said, turning around again but Mike was quick to make his way towards her before engulfing her into a warm hug. "Dad—"

"I'm sorry," he said, and for a moment Lauren was scared he'll cry. "I'm sorry for not being enough."

"Dad, it's . . . fine," Lauren said, trying to believe what she said as she pushed him away gently. "I'm also sorry I acted the way I did earlier. It's not easy for me, you know?"

"I know." Mike nodded in affirmation. "I know, and we'll work this out, okay? I don't want you to hate us. It's the hardest fact to accept."

"I don't hate you," Lauren quickly disagreed. "I'm just disappointed that it took you two years to come back, and your reason was because you didn't want me to be alone in Christmas when I've never felt any more alone when I'm with you guys."

Tears rimmed Mike's eyes. "I'm sorry, honey."

"It took you two years to realize that I need someone—something aside from money and all that you're giving me," Lauren continued, forcing back the tears. "I know how it looks—that I'm being ungrateful and rude to you but you don't know how it feels to be left alone by your own parents. It—it hurts, Dad. I feel so alone every day that sometimes I don't feel like coming home anymore because this isn't how home is supposed to feel. You don't feel empty and unsafe and cold. I might not understand how you make sacrifices for me but do you even understand how being emotionally homeless feels?"

"I'm sorry, Lauren. I'm so sorry," Mike said, holding Lauren by the shoulders. "I'll be a better father to you now. I'll try to understand all the things I should understand as your father. We'll be a better parent. We'll do everything to make you feel that you're not alone—that we're here for you and we've always been."

Despite the anger she felt towards her own family, she couldn't really resist them forever. It was like convincing yourself that you're not hungry while having a food right in front of you. You didn't know that you're hungry but you can feel it and you wanted to do your best to keep yourself from eating but you know deep inside you that you need it. So, you grab the food and eat it and you feel complete again. Lauren hugged her father and Mike was quick to respond. She didn't feel quite complete but it was enough for a start.

"Your friends must be a huge help for you," Mike said as he sat across Lauren. He decided to make her her favorite hot chocolate and the weather outside was perfect for the occasion. Leila decided to go to bed. "When we're not home, I mean."

"Most of them are," Lauren agreed, warming her hands with the mug. She thought of telling him about her sexuality and about Y/N, frightening his response but she guessed it was going to be worth it. "Especially Y/N. She'd sleep here sometimes so I wouldn't be alone."

"But they moved to Canada, right?" Mike asked, pouring small marshmallows on Lauren's drink. "How did she end up back here?"

Lauren watched as the marshmallows were drenched in hot chocolate, slowly melting on the surface. "She just came back to finish her education but the girls told me that she'd been in Walnut Hills before I got there, then, she left when I came."

"So you didn't know that she was already studying there," Mike said, and Lauren nodded before sipping on her hot chocolate. "You didn't throw parties in our house, did you?"