I found you in April

Is that selfish?

Kousei had uttered a final sentence to Watari before he passed out.

"Do not leave her near the ambulance."

Watari was prepared for Kaori to make a bolt for the ambulance so he was prepared for an ambush. But what happened next surprised him. Kaori just looked at Kousei with that look of disgust again and ran the other way.

Watari did not know what had been in that letter but he knew it must have had something to do with the events of their first few weeks together. 

The two had not tried to hide their love for one another when they returned to school. They displayed it with pride. The music room which had not been graced with the presence of one person, let alone two, in so long was now being filled with their glorious symphonies every day and nobody ever got tired of it. Their music showed their love for each other just as much as their words and actions did. Music was an extension of their beings after all!

Whenever they were together, they would walk around in each others company, never letting their respective other out of their sight. A love was blossoming. They would do all the cheesy things couples did. However, their trademark thing was holding hands under the desks in class. They were always careful to be sure they weren't caught but on the odd occasion they would be as their classmates couldn't stop looking at them. The teachers could never stay mad at the young couple for long however. They soon became known across the school collectively as Miyarima. 

Whenever they were asked how they got together, they always kept the truth for themselves. They always just replied with; "It was destiny!"

**********

Kaori's POV

Why did he do this? Why didn't he tell me? I knew there was a reason he flinched and hesitated when I told him I wanted to know everything about him. How could I let myself fall for someone so quick? Now I know what they mean when they say "If it seems too good to be true, it normally is."

I love him so much but I hate him! How could he keep the fact that he is DYING from me? Damn Baka Kousei! Did all those times we had mean nothing to him?! Now he's just going to die on me? He PROMISED HE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME! He told me I wouldn't be alone...

Please don't leave me alone...

**********

Kousei's POV

That's it. I'm alone. Back to where I started. I couldn't tell her. She had been through too much. I couldn't risk pushing her over the edge. But I fear I may have already done that. I know my fate. My final chapter was written the second I was diagnosed. Nobody recovers from Stage 4. They could prolong my life a little bit with the right drug but the ending will still be the same.

I am going to die.

Ever since I met her, I have so much I want to live for. I want to be with her. I want to have all of the firsts with her. Our first day of university, our graduation, our first performance together, our first holiday. Our first house, our first pet, our first child. But I won't even make it to the first of those.

I am going to die.

I've accepted my fate. Ultimately, I don't have a choice. But I don't want to drag her down with me. She doesn't deserve this. She needs to live! To go get her somebody that will love her and cherish her just like I do but that isn't going to die and leave her broken hearted at 14. I want her to live a good, long, happy life. A life without me. I wish I could be the one to share that life with her. But...

I am going to die...

**********

Kousei was rushed to the hospital and classed as an emergency case. The reason he had collapsed was because there was not enough oxygen getting to his brain. If he had been left any later, he would have died. There were a number of things fighting to kill him before the other. His brain had very little oxygen, he was about to asphyxiate on the blood and his lungs had been filling with fluid for a while. 

After a day unconscious, he came too. He expected her to disobey his wishes and follow him so when he woke up and saw that she hadn't, his heart stung a little bit. He had asked for this. He had gotten his wish.

"Hey! You're awake!"

They had had tubes of all sorts down my throat running tests so my voice was extremely hoarse and raspy.

"K-Kaori?" I mumbled.

"Whatever you told her hit her pretty hard. She ran the other way crying. Why didn't you tell her earlier?"

"I didn't want to hurt her. She seemed so happy. And now I'm causing her even more hurt. I hate myself!"

"Kousei! Stop it. You should have told her in the first place. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! It's her that is hurting. You can have painkillers injected into you and you don't feel the pain for a while but her torment won't go away! Don't be so selfish!"

"SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN ME! IS IT SO SELFISH TO WANT HER TO BE HAPPY?! IF IT IS THEN FINE! CALL ME SELFISH!"

"It doesn't matter what you want. What you think is irrelevant! SHE.WANTS.YOU! How many times do you have to be told that for it to sink in?"

"Give me my phone."

**********

Kaori's POV

*Beep*

Watashi no Ai

I answered. I wanted to know how he was doing. I couldn't ignore him forever after all.

Wait...

There's silence on the other end of the line. That's never good! Is he dead? Please don't be dead.

The thought of him being dead and me being such a horrible girlfriend and not being there while I'm pouting out here when he was there for me brought tears to my eyes.

The past 24 hours have been the most horrible of my life.

"Kousei?" My voice trembled.

"K-Kaori? Please don't hang up."

"You baka! Why would I hang up? Where are you?"

"Kaori. Please don't come here. I don't want you to see me like this. Remember me how I was."

"No. Don't do this Kousei. You can't do this."

"Kaori please don't make this harder than it is. I think we need to brea-"

"NO! I won't let you do this! YOU ARE NOT DYING ON ME YET!"

"I don't have a choice. I don't want to hurt you. I'm a ticking time bomb and I'm trying to lessen the amount of people that get hurt by the explosion!"

"And you think I'm not already hurting?"

Silence...

"You might as well tell me where you are. I'm going to find you anyway. I have my ways."

"Kaori. Please stop it!" I could hear him getting more upset as this went on.

"Kousei. I can't. Please. Don't do this to me. I can't go back to living without you. I'm begging you!"

"..."

"Kousei?"

"..."

"This isn't funny."

"..."

"KOUSEI!"

"I'm in Totsuhara. Please. If you're going to come. Be prepared for the worst."

"I love you."

All I heard in return was a sob...

**********

A/N: So, what do you guys think? I'm trying to put as much emotion into it as I can and I really hope it comes across!

I hope you're enjoying! <3