I found you in April

The Choice

I felt my face being enveloped by the warmth of her hands and my lips becoming trapped in hers.

"Hi!" She exclaimed.

"Oh. He-" 

Turns out she had only separated for a second for air before diving back into the kiss again. Watari had left just before the house so we were on our own. Hiroko was still at work and Koharu had gone to a friend's house for the day. 

Turns out I wasn't getting the peaceful evening I thought I was. I didn't mind though. This was so much better.

She separated again for but a second. She just looked me in the eyes, flashed that mischevious smile of hers and jumped, wrapping her legs around my waist before forcefully grabbing the back of my head and pulling mine towards hers. A vicious battle of lips occured. She was keeping me stimulated physically and mentally when, all of a sudden, I felt a tear hit my cheek. It wasn't mine so, naturally, I looked up and, to my surprise, Kaori wasn't pouting or sad like she normally was when she cried. She was smiling. It was a sad smile. Like this moment was bittersweet or something. But, in this moment, she was so beautiful.

**********

Kaori's POV

"You, Arima Kousei, are an idiot."

"Wh-what? Did I do something to upset you?"

"No silly. It's little moments like these that I will treasure forever. I will remember them even after I'm dead. I don't know how but one of your thoughts reached me today. When you asked Watari to watch over me, and you said I would find someone who isn't going to leave me like you. I knew you were goofy but I didn't think you were stupid Kousei."

He was silent. He was listening to me.

"These past 9 months we've been together have been tragic. I've been hurt a lot. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I had my head bashed in. But I survived. You were diagnosed. But you are still here. We have been through so many horrible things. Probably more than the average person could handle. But we keep fighting. No matter what, we always fight. You say you're leaving me, but you don't have a choice in the matter. It's fate. Knowing that is killing you, we saw that this morning. Listen Kousei..."

He was looking down. He always does this when what we talk about upsets him. He has tells and I know all of them.

"Stop looking down. Look up and look at me! I don't care what happens or how bad your illness gets. I will be by your side when the brightest of suns envelop you and the worst storms throw you about. I am not leaving your side. Ever. When you go, I don't know how I will cope. Hell, I don't even know if I will cope. When you die..."

My smile broke. I couldn't keep the facade up any longer. I've been strong for too long. I've tried but seeing him crumbling before me, it's like someone is taking a blade to my heart and ripping it to shreds.

"Kousei, I need you to keep fighting. I know that is selfish and I'm probably being the worst girlfriend right now but I don't want you to die. How am I meant to face the world without you at my side? I would give anything to take all your pain away. I can't do this without you. I want to stay by your side. Please don't leave me."

"I'll try my best but it's so hard Kaori. I love you so much that it hurts. I want to stay with you so so bad but it's like when I fight fate, someone takes a bat and beats me everywhere with it. I'm punished for it and I'm on borrowed time. Look, I haven't told you yet and I didn't want to tell you but, I don't have long. The last round of chemo didn't do as well as the last one. It actually didn't do anything at all. The tumors aren't going away. They're resisting the treatment. I'm slowly wasting away. My..."