I found you in April

My Sorrow

"KAORIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! GET UP FOR SCHOOL!"

Here's the thing about Mom. She says she loves me but she has the worst ways of showing it. "Everything I do is for you. I'm only trying to help you."

She's always saying things like that as if I should feel guilty for not doing what she wants me to do. Ever since I was a kid, every day since that day has been an endless nightmare that I can't seem to wake from.

The only good thing my Mom ever gave me was my most prized possession. My violin. I poured everything into it. It was like an extension of my body. I gave it my heart and my soul and one day she snapped.

To this day I still don't know what I did to warrant that type of a response from her but I'll give you a bit of a background story from that fateful day.

The day I grew to despise my mother.

I was in 6th grade. I was practising for a recital I had coming up. It was the Maihou Music Competition. I was so passionate about this and I was really hoping to do well as this contest had previously spawned many a renowned musician! My piece was the Kreutzer. I had practised until the score was practically burned into my eyes. I could play it with no mistakes.

So the day came and I was to perform in Towa Hall. The venue was so beautiful. The centre-piece of the venue was the majestic grand piano on the stage. The lights on the stage were blinding and it was so silent. You could almost hear a pindrop.

"Play the piece as the composer intended. Play the piece as the composer intended."

Then my blood ran cold.

My dad was my mentor. He had taught me how to play the violin. He was everything to me. Since I was small he had protected me from my mother's wrath. I always played for him. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make him proud.

He had been suffering for a while. I knew he was ill but whenever I brought it up, he told me not to worry about him and to focus on my playing. I'll always remember after my first performance, he said; "I won't always be there for you, you know."

At first I didn't really know what he meant but at that moment, on that stage, playing the piece he always used to play me to sleep with, something told me he was gone. I stopped and burst into tears. I was hysterical.

But my hunch had been correct. My dad was gone.

My mother became even worse than she had been before. She spiralled out of control. Her behaviour became more erratic than it ever had been.

Then one day, she smashed my violin.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN EMBARRASSMENT TO ME!!"

Her sanity was gone. Whatever used to be my mother was no longer there. This was a stranger.

"Dying was the best thing for Dad. At least he doesn't have to put up with you anymore" I mumbled.

I felt my eyes roll back in my head. For the first time, my mother had hit me. My dad was no longer able to protect me.

My mother had drew blood. I couldn't do anything. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I was scared. I was angry. But I was helpless. I couldn't do anything.

This continued for about the next few years. I didn't play the violin again. I couldn't. The memories it brought back were too painful. Again and again, strike after strike, day after day, she beat me. She would come along and have her way with me. Any semblance of love we had left for each other was long gone.

Just like my body was losing blood, my world lost colour and at the tender age of 11 years old, I wanted nothing more than to die...

A/N: As you can see, this story is getting pretty heavy pretty fast. I'm gonna be adding parts to this story pretty fast over the weekend. The first few chapters are just introduction stuff so it'll be a bit before we get to the main story. If you have any questions or suggestions, send me a message and I'll take everything into consideration!

I hope you'll enjoy.