I Like You Better In Red {DEH}

The Pale Boy In Black

(quick a/n, feel free to skip it.
Hi!! Okay, so, remember me? Probably not, i used to write cringy MCR and TOP fan fictions,
I know, take all the time you need to gag and vomit...You done vomiting yet? Good. Let me start over, hi! My name is Iz and I'm here to write more cringy fan fiction (thankful not about bands this time) So, Dear Evan Hansen, that's emotional, if you don't know about the musical, you'll probably be very confused as to what anything in here is about. Anyways, that's what this fan fiction is about, the first musical I watched, Dear Evan Hansen. I'm gonna say now, there will be triggering content but, there will always be a trigger warning at the top of the chapter just to keep you guys safe. That's basically it, so go on with reading)

Evan stared at the clock, every second ticking loudly, ringing through his head like another reminder he'd be forced to present soon. The school didn't care for students with social anxiety or any mental illness really. The point is, Evan felt like he was going to pass out if he went up there.

Tick. Another second closer.

Tick. Even closer.

Tick. Faint yelling?

Tick. Trembling.

Tick. Sweaty hands.

Tick. That one sounded different then the clock. The same tick came again.

He snapped back to reality when he saw Jared clap his hands in front of Evan. "Evan, go up front. It's your turn to present. Jesus christ, how dense are you? I flicked your forehead and you didn't budge" Oh, so that's what that other ticking was.

Evan grabbed his notecards and shakily pushed himself to his feet, legs almost giving out. He got up front and kept his eyes down, glanced up before looking down again. He chewed on his nails and the skin around his nails like he was a four year old who had just been told they had to finish their dinner before they could have dessert, his nails and the skin around it being the dinner. He only stopped and wiped his hands on his pants when he realized he was bleeding.

He was making a fool of himself in front of everyone, the person kthat concerned him most though, was Connor Murphy. Evan had been pinning over Connor's sister Zoe for a while but then he figured out he didn't have a chance with her, he started paying more attention to the older Murphy child.

He watched Connor a lot. Not like 'holy shit I love you, have my babies, I'm going to stalk you and watch your every move' watched Connor. More like 'wow, he's really attractive, he'd never like me, I might as well kill myself now to save me from heartbreak'. Okay, so neither of them were good but at least Evan wasn't a stalker.

Connor was so wonderful. His lopsided smile, that was rare but ever wonderful, his hair looked so soft and fun to braid. Evan was never a fan of dark colors but Connor pulled it off so well. His eyes were so pretty and unique, a brown strip in one of them. He had his ears pierced, no one ever really noticed but he did have two black studs. Note, it looked like he pierced his own ears and then stole two studs from his mom or sister. His nails were always painted black and the way Connor's nose and forehead crinkled when he had earbuds in, supposedly listening to music or a video, when he looked, at least kinda happy, Evan could fall in love with that face over and over and over again.

As much as he would've loved to have kept day dreaming about the pale boy in black, he was ripped back to reality by the teacher snapping her fingers next to his ear "Evan." He winced slightly and looked down at his notecards when the world seemed to start spinning. He felt nauseous, lightheaded, like he'd left his body. "Um, um, um, um" The cards slipped out of his fingers and people started quietly laughing. His breath picked up and he stared to visibly tremble "Um, um" His knees felt weak, he felt his palms and forehead get sweaty. "Um" The room flashed white before flashing black. Evan collapsed on the floor, still shaking. Everyone started laughing, except Connor, he had this small bit of pity in his eyes, like he could see Evan had problems and like he could relate. It was almost as if Connor could see right through Evan and learn all his secrets while still not knowing anything at all.

Evan shakily got back to his feet with his notecards and stumbled back to his desk. He sat down and felt hot tears bubble in his eyes before rolling down his cheeks. Presentations went on as if Evan wasn't there. Like he could disappear tomorrow and no one would notice. Jared flicked his forehead and began to whisper yell to Evan "What the fuck was that? Did you just have a brain aneurysm or something?" Evan shrugged lightly and watched his tears fall off his cheeks and hit the desk.

There were only a few presentations left. Come the end of the presentations Evan was the only one who hadn't presented. The teacher looked over at him "Either come up and present now or accept an F" All eyes turned to face Evan. He took a deep breath "I'll, I'll t-t-take the F" The teacher nodded and was about to start writing on the paper in her hand when a slightly raspy voice from across the classroom spoke up "I'll preset it for him." Evan looked over. Connor? Connor Murphy? This couldn't be real. It was though, Connor had picked his head up from his own desk and spoke up. The teacher began to speak again "That's not an optio-"
"Why not?" Evan didn't know what about Connor sticking up to the teacher put him in such awe, but it did. "It's his project, he must present it."
"We can't all be nurotypical Susan. He did the work, he deserves a grade"
"I can't allowed that." Connor stood up from his desk "Yes, you can, and you will." He walked over to Evan's desk and crouched down next to him. He put his hands in Evan's notecards "Can I borrow these and present for you?" He spoke quietly as to not upset Evan. Evan nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. For once he was glad he was crying because then Connor would think the pink in Evan's cheeks was from the crying, and not his existence.

Connor smiled softly and nodded. The smile Evan could fall in love with over again, and he did. His cheeks went a little more pink. Connor grabbed the notecards and stood up, walking to the front of the calls. The teacher looked slightly shocked when Connor got up to the front, took a second to organize the notecard to make sure they were in the correct order, and started the presentation. Evan smiled softly the whole time, there was something about the whole situation that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside and made him even more in love with Connor.

When the bell signaling the end of school rung, Evan scrambled to his feet and got all his things. He was about to walk out the door when he felt a slightly bigger hand grab his shoulder.

"Evan Hansen, right?"