I Like You Better In Red {DEH}

Sincerly, Me

tw: slightly mentions of suicide

Connor plopped down on the couch and stared at Nolan, arms crossed. "I understand it's hard to talk about, and I'll give you however long it takes you to get it out but I am not leaving until I know exactly what happened and why it happened." Connor said without looking away. Nolan glanced at him "I don't exactly why this happened, I'm Jared's brother, not his diary." He spat out at Connor before going quiet and looking down. Connor groaned and rolled his eyes before responding "You live with him. To some degree you must know why he did what he did. Why he hurt Evan and why he tried to kill himself."
"I suppose, yes, to some degree I do know why Jared did what he did."
"Well you're gonna tell me all of it, not a signal detail left out."

Nolan nodded slowly "Okay" He said quietly. "Everything kinda started when Jared was in seventh grade. That's when our household became violent. If you got a low grade, you got yelled at in hit, you didn't do your chores, your got yelled at and hit, and broke a household rule, you got yelled at and hit. It was around the same time Jared became more, closed off. Our moms, mine and Jared's mom and Evan's mom,  were close. Because of that since Jared was in the same grade as Evan, they just kinda become friends. Years went on and, he got even more closed off and, pissy. I don't know how it got as bad as it did to the long he was bullying Evan, I really don't and I'm sorry about that, but I looked in his computer and I—" Nolan stopped talking.

"You what?" Connor snapped slightly, clearly loosing his patience. Nolan looked down. "I found conversions with someone on this,, website. He was bringing up the situation, the abuse and you stealing Evan away from him an—"
"I never stole Evan from anyone, he can leave me whenever he wants. Plus, he's not Jared's property."
"I'm just telling you what I know. But, this person told Jared to abandon Evan and hang out with someone he'd disapprove of. I guess after he became friends with Ram, things just kinda escalated."

"I want to read his note." Nolan's eyes shot up "W-What?"
"I want to read Jared's suicide note"
"No."
"Give me the note."
"Fuck you."
"Give me the motherfucking note!"
"No! Get out of my house!"
"No! Fuck you! Give me the note!"
"Get the fuck out of my house! Evan's a  shit bag anyways! I was only helping you because I knew you'd beat my ass otherwise!"
"What did you fucking say?!"
"Evan's an annoying shit bag who can't get his shit together! I've heard the stories! I've met him! His stutter's probably fake! And it's annoying! His ' ' anxiety ' ' is annoying!"
"Fuck you!" Connor shoved Nolan before running out of the house and kicking the mail box on his way out.

~~~

Connor got home and angrily slammed the front door. He heard Zoe squeaked and looked over from the couch "Hey, what's up?"
"Jared's younger brother is a fucking good for nothing piece of shit."
"Wha—I'm not even gonna ask. That Hansen kid stopped by today." Connor raised an eyebrow.

Why the hell did Evan show up without texting Connor?

He never did that.

"Oh? Why?" Zoe shrugged at Connor's question. "No clue, he left you a letter, I put it up in your room."
",,Why?"
"I don't know, he didn't tell me."

Connor got an uneasy feeling. He went upstairs without a word.

Connor saw a small letter on his bed and grabbed it. He smiled softly at Evan curly hand writing but his breath immediately caught in his throat when he read it.

'Dear Connor Murphy,
What to say to you?

Get the reference? Ha, probably not.

I love you, so much. I'm gonna miss you more than you can imagine. Life's just tough, no one cares, at least not for me.

You know Connor, I've always wondered, how the world might look from up so high. I'm gonna find out tonight love.

I'll see you in heaven when the time's right.

And one more thing, try not to cry at
my funeral, I don't deserve people to miss me. Move on, start a family with someone else, make me proud. I'll be watching you.

For the last time,

I love you.

Sincerely,

Me'