More weeks passed, Evan started walking to school with Connor instead of Jared and Jared seemed, different. There was one conversation Evan had with Jared roughly a week or two after he became friends with Connor and it stuck out in his mind a lot recently.
Evan kicked rocks on the pavement on his walk to school. Connor was home sick and Jared had started acting weirdly towards Evan so he didn't have anyone to walk with.
He expected it to be a normal walk, why wouldn't it be? He hadn't made it far from his house before a rock hit the back of his head. The rock wasn't very big, but definitely not small either, like a little bigger than his big toe probably.
He turned around after feeling the rock and hearing snickering behind him. He wasn't surprised when he saw Ram. He did make Evan uneasy, he'd been picking on Evan, or could probably be considered bullying, since eighth grade. It made Evan uncomfortable how much he was like Ram Sweeney from Heathers, but he always tried to brush it off. Anyways, what did surprise him was when he saw Jared, who had been progressively getting more bruises and cuts, with Ram.
"J-J-Jared?" Evan had sounded terrified. "What's wrong Evan, you made a new friend, so I did too." Jared sneered. "Y-Yeah but, but you're f-fr-friends with Ra—"
"Save it tree boy" Jared cut Evan off. "And get that stutter worked out, it's fucking annoying. You made your choice of who you want to be friends with, so I made mine too. Have fun fucking the faggot school shooter" Jared roughly pushed passed Evan as did Ram.
What was happening? Jared was an ass, yeah, but he was never this bad.
It was a weekend after a week long break from school, few weeks after the incident with Ram and Jared. Evan was curled up on his bed hold a pillow to his chest. He was thinking, a lot, which was rarely a good thing. What if Connor did the same thing as Jared? What if he was set up purposefully to mess with Evan? What if the only reason he stopped Evan from committing suicide was because he wanted to play a sick game with him? He doubted it, but what if?
Evan hadn't told Connor about the incident yet, he didn't want to worry him. He hadn't eaten in a few days either, it wasn't a big deal, he just hadn't left his room in a few days and felt like he didn't deserve food. Connor was coming over today, well, he was supposed to. Evan called and canceled their plans, he felt bad but he just, couldn't do it.
His mom was away for the weekend, he forgot why, but she was. It made the house feel even more empty. Yeah he almost never saw his mom because of her work, but knowing there was no possibility of him seeing her that weekend, suddenly the house felt way too big.
After having the basically give himself a pep talk, he finally rolled out of bed and trudged downstairs. He threw himself onto the couch and was basically back to how he was upstairs, just without a pillow now. He was on his back, pajama pants and a t shirt he hadn't changed out of in days and head pivoted to see the tv, he didn't turn it on though.
He wanted Connor there, he really did, but who wants to deal with their best friend's depressive episode? It would be a little easier with Connor there though. Yeah him being there wouldn't change much, but he wouldn't be as lonely. He hesitated before taking his phone out and texting Connor.
'Hey, I have a question'
One minute
No response
Two minutes
No response
Three minutes
Message read at 4:20pm
Evan waited
'heeeeeeeeeey eeeeeevvvvvvvv, happy 4:20pm, wOaH'
'sorry about that'
'im not high i swear'
'you said you have a question'
'shoot dude'
'Are you still whiling to come over?'
'yeah, of course, i'll be right over'
'I'm sorry about originally canceling'
'it's chill, we're gonna hang out now'
'i'll head over now, okay?'
'Okay'
'm a y b e o k a y w i l l b e o u r a l w a y s'
'Shut up Connor'
'oh come on ev, i cried at that book, you definitely did'
'Yeah, that's why i'm telling you to shut up'
'fine, be that way'
'i'm totally joking by the way'
'see you in a few'
'bye'
'Bye'
Message read at 4:26
Evan tossed his phone on the coffee table and stared at the ceiling, he felt like he'd regret this.
~~~
After about ten minutes, the front door opened and Connor walked in. Evan and Connor were at a 'It's chill to just walk into each other's house at this point, but you should probably still text the other one before coming over' Stage of the friendship.
"Woah man, you look fucking worse than me." Connor joked while walking into the living room, Evan didn't laugh. "Is something up?" Connor asked and sat on the small space of the couch that wasn't taken up from Evan being sprawled across it. "The sky" Evan said, voice numb. Connor chuckled quietly, even though he knew it wasn't a funny situation, he hoped he could lighten the mood. "I mean like is something wrong" Evan shrugged. "Sit up" Connor said, voice soft, similar to how it was when he first stood up for Evan in class, like he'd shatter into millions of pieces if he was too loud. Evan hesitated before sitting up and Connor moved to be sitting next to Evan. "Now tell me, is something wrong? I'm not professional, but I still want to help, you're my friend."
"No, nononono you'll hate me."
"I won't, I promise." Evan shrugged and Connor sighed.
The room fell silent.
Uncomfortably silent
Silent
Silent
Silent
Silent
Silent
Sile— "Are you depressed Evan?"
Evan's head shot up and he looked over at Connor, who was looking at him with soft eyes. He quickly looked back down, ashamed of it. "It's okay Evan, I understand. Kids at school don't call me 'depressed fag' for nothing." Connor forced a slightly chuckle, there wasn't any emotion behind the laugh, it just was
and that was okay.
"I'm not gonna judge you for it." Connor said. Evan looked over again "Thank you." he mumbled, he sounded like he'd start crying if he spoke any louder. "Hey hey hey, Evan, don't cry, it's okay. We can just put on shitty tv and I'll try and help you out a bit while you wait for the wave to pass, okay?" Evan very faintly smiled at that and nodded. "When was the last time you ate."
"Like three or four days probably." Connor nodded slowly with a slight frown and stood up. "Just put on some shitty tv show or something and I'll be back with food." Evan nodded and turned the tv on, he didn't pay attention to what it was, it looked like a game show though. Connor smiled faintly at Evan and left the room.
Evan heard Connor yell a few times from the kitchen about burning himself. From what Evan had gathered from Connor's yelling, the only cooking knowledge he had was ramen cups, and was managing to burn himself with the boiling water.
After a few more minutes of yelling, Connor came out with two ramen cups and red hands. He placed them on the coffee table and sat back down next to Evan before looking down at his burned hands "Jesus fuck" he mumbled before looking at Evan. "You doing any better?" He asked quietly. Evan just shrugged.
Connor turned to be facing Evan, sitting crisscross on the couch.
"You have me" Connor said while placing a hand on Evan's shoulder.
"You'll always have me."
YOU ARE READING
I Like You Better In Red {DEH}
Fanfic"You know Connor, you look great in black, but i like you better in red." {} Evan is has social anxiety and is dealing with suicidal thoughts. Connor is dealing with a self harm and drug addiction while also having suicidal thoughts. The world is da...
