I Like You Better In Red {DEH}

Burning Throats

tw: suicide

Connor's whole world came crumbling and he screamed. Evan couldn't be dead, he couldn't be. He ran downstairs, where Zoe still was and ran straight to the front door.

"Where are you goin—" Zoe started to asked but Connor cut her off "Shut the fuck up!"
"What the fuck's wrong Connor?"
"Shut up!" Connor yelled with hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He flung the door open and sprinted as fast as he could to Evan's house as he could and collapsed on the pavement, skinning his knees through his ripped jeans.

There was already an ambulance and who Connor assumed was Evan's mother, sobbing. He looked in the back of the ambulance while shaking and sobbing on the ground. He saw Evan and started sobbing even more when he saw long slits on his now much paler wrists. His clothes were blood soaked.

Connor sobbed on the pavement until he was throwing up, and he was still sobbing and throwing up long after he ambulance left.

When he managed to stop puking he was still sobbing violently and shakily pushed himself to his feet. He stumbled into Evan's empty house and went up to his room. Connor took in Evan's scent before he collapsed on the bed and clung the pillow to his chest. His sobbing evolved into screaming and he screamed and sobbed until he blacked out on Evan's bed.

~~~

Connor spent days in Evan's house, seeing Evan's mom, Heidi, whenever she came home. They didn't talk a lot, but Heidi did say to Connor that having him in the house helped filled the empty feeling without Evan there.

Connor knew Evan was alive, but that didn't stop him from sobbing daily for one reason, Evan was in a coma, and they weren't sure if he was gonna make it.

Connor hadn't been allowed to see Evan yet so he was just getting daily updates from Heidi whenever she came back. It was practically unbearable for Connor, just having to trust that these updates were correct. More importantly though, he wanted to see his boyfriend at least one more time incase he, didn't make it, but he couldn't, at least not yet.

Connor was laying on his back on Evan's bed in Evan's hoodie with tears rolling down the sides of his face. He didn't hear Heidi open the door slowly and step in the room. "Connor?" Connor practically screamed and shot up. He sat on the bed and he stared at Heidi's exhausted, sad eyes for a long time before she spoke to Connor "You can see him." Connor choked on his breath "Evan?" his voice cracked and Heidi nodded. "Is he awake?" Connor asked excitedly only to be greeted with a frown and Heidi shaking her head. Connor's demeanor went back down, but he still got up, wanting to see Evan.

Connor walked over to Heidi. He nodded at her and she nodded back before they walked downstairs, silently, and out of the house.

The car ride was quiet, and once Connor was at the hospital and alone in the room with only Evan, the reality kinda came crashing down. Out of all the things that hit him in that moment, one was something Heidi brought up during the car ride.

"Connor, there's something I should probably bring up before we get there. If Evan does not wake up by noon tomorrow, they're taking him off life support"

Connor pulled a chair up next to the hospital bed and gently grabbed Evan's hand. "I know you can't hear me" he said quietly "But I want you to know, if you don't make it," he squeezed Evan's hand "I'll be right up in heaven with you."

And those were the last words he ever said to Evan.

~~~

Connor stared at his phone till exactly 12:46. He couldn't bring himself to get up and go to the hospital, so he was back at his house, and not there to see if Evan would wake up, Heidi was gonna text him and tell him what happened.

When he didn't get a text, he had his answer.

Connor got up from his bed and went into the bathroom. Overdose, that would definitely kill him, but just to be safe, he went downstairs stuck some alcohol and went back up the bathroom.

Before he could get his thoughts together, his throat was burned with alcohol and his stomach was full of pills. Connor slid down the wall and smiled shakily up at the ceiling "Hey Ev, I'm coming soon."

a/n: one more chapter