I Like You Better In Red {DEH}

'Join' Him

tw: suicide attempt. And vomiting, i dont know if that triggers anyone but i'm just adding it

"Are you dead up there?!" Connor heard Zoe practically shriek up the stairs. Connor was sitting on the windowsill, halfway out, smoking so maybe he wouldn't be a ball of rage when anyone came home. He rolled his eyes and groaned "Wish I was." he mumbled under his breath and put the cigarette out on the rubber sole of his boot. "No! Fuck off!" he called back while climbing back inside and shutting the window.

He flopped down onto his bed, groaning loudly when he slammed his head on the headboard. With a now throbbing headache, Connor rolled onto his back and checked his phone for the first time all day where he was immediately greeted with panicked texts from Evan.

'Good morning Connor. You never texted back last night so I'm just checking in before school I guess. I don't know it's probably annoying. Text me back when you can.'

'Hey Con, am I allowed to call you that? Sorry. Anyways, you weren't in first period so I was just checking in again'

'Seriously Connor, where are you? I'm hiding in the bathroom in forth period so I can text you. Where are?'

'Please be okay'

'Connor, hi, excuse me if i spell anything wrong, I'm shaking. Please be okay, that's all i'm asking. Please'

'Connor I can't breath, please answer me, I'm sobbing, I can't do this.'

'You're my only friend, please don't leave me too.'

'I can't do this without someone by my side'

'Please answer me'

'Oh God'

'Please don't tell me I'm writing to a dead man'

'That thought is really scary'

'Please don't leave me, I'm going to throw up'

'Please Connor'

'I need you'

'I just threw up.'

'Okay, this is fine, this is fine'

'I'll meet you in the after life if you really are dead'

'I guess i should just go with my gut now'

'If you are alive, I'm sorry'

'-Evan'

The last text was sent to Connor ten minutes ago. Shit, Connor fucked up. He frantically texted Evan back, informing him he was alive and well, he'd just needed the day to calm down, smoke and sleep all day but he didn't get a response.

Fuck.

He grabbed his jacket from the floor and scrambled to get it on while sprinting out of the house. "Where the fuck are you going?!" Connor heard Zoe scream behind him when he ran out of the house but she didn't get answer.

Connor was lucky enough to have learned where Evan lived from talking to him at the orchard but that didn't calm him down.

He sprinted as fast as he could. His lungs burned and he could barely breath, he felt like he was going to pass out. That didn't make him slow down his sprint, in fact he pushed himself to run faster.

Fuck, Evan could be dead and it was all his fault.

~~~

Evan was on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down his cheeks while he sobbed hysterically, almost screaming.

He was impulsive at times and it didn't help him out in situations like these. When people didn't respond he assumed they either hated him or they were dead. His mind immediately went to 'Connor killed himself', and Evan was determined to 'join' him.

He struggled with a pill bottle on the floor, shaking so much he couldn't unscrew it as easily as he would've otherwise "Stupid childproof caps!" he sobbed loudly. He was sobbing and screaming so loudly he didn't hear the front door open.

It didn't matter, even if he did. The cap finally popped off, thank goodness. The rough edges had caused Evan's hand to bleed. He poured all the pills in his mouth and struggled, trying to swallow them one by one.

Evan hadn't locked the bathroom door, why would he? He was home alone, there was no reason to. This allowed the intruder to turn the knob and push open the door.

Connor almost screamed when he opened saw Evan with pills in his mouth. He got down on his knees next to Evan "Spit!". Evan shook his head frantically while sobbing and kept swallowing individual pills.

Connor slapped Evan hard on he back several times in the hopes he'd cough and spit out the pills, but Evan still fought against it.

It was weird, Evan originally wanted to kill himself because he thought Connor was dead but now, even knowing Connor was alive, he still wanted to go.

Connor resorted to the next thing he could think of, he forced Evan's jaw open with his fingers, not caring at that moment if he accidentally bruised Evan's face or jaw. He stuck his fingers in Evan's mouth and started scooping pills onto the floor. He didn't stop even when Evan bit down on his fingers, causing him to start bleeding.

When Connor got all the pills out, he didn't take his fingers out of Evan's mouth. "How many did you swallow?" he asked, tears welling up in his eyes. Evan just shook his head, silently telling Connor that he wouldn't tell him. "How many did you swallow?!" Connor repeated, tears now rolling down his cheeks and he was screaming. Once again he didn't get a response from Evan. He took a deep breath "I'm so sorry Evan." Evan looked confused but before he could do anything, it was all happening.

Evan was small, Connor could move him easily. All rational thoughts left him and instead of calling 911 or something like he should've, he forced Evan to lean over the toilet and shoved his fingers down his throat to make him vomit. Evan only gagged the first few times before throwing up. Connor was slightly relived to see pills come up and not just bile, they hadn't had the chance to break down in evan's stomach yet.

Evan was breathing heavily, almost completely stunned for a few minutes before he fell sideways into Connor and started sobbing violently. Connor, not knowing what else to do played with his hair slightly while whispering quietly to try and calm him down. It didn't really work, Evan was crying i'm Connor's arms until he was gasping for air, and he was gasping for air and crying until he blacked out. Connor checked to make sure Evan was breathing normally before leaning back against the wall. He held Evan's unconscious body close and let out a breath.

Why did the media make it seem like 'oh, you save someone from suicide and confess your love before living happily and your depression is cured!'?

This was terrifying

•••
a/n: DONT ACTUALLY FORCE PEOPLE TO VOMIT IF THEY OVERDOSE, ITS NOT SAFE! THE WHOLE POINT WAS CONNOR WAS FREAKING AND THAT WAS THE FIRST THING HE THOUGHT TO DO EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW IT WAS UNSAFE!!