∆ Week in P∆r∆dise // Bastille

Do I Stay, or Do I Dare?

**A/N I DECIDED THAT I WANTED TO TRY TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER FROM DAN’S POINT OF VIEW BC I WANTED TO TRY IT OUT; SORRY IF YA HATE IT… IT’S GOING BACK TO WHEN DAN FOUND THE LETTER CAMERON WROTE BEFORE SHE LEFT CALIFORNIA HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. ~MHAIRI xx**

Dan’s P.O.V.

I walked into my room, we had just gotten home from having dinner, with everyone but Cameron.  We were in the park all day, and Reily had said that she wasn’t feeling well, but when I had asked to go see Cam, Reily yelled at me.  “No! She wants you to have fun, even if it’s without her.” Reily had said when I asked about Cameron.  She was the love of my life, and I couldn’t live without her.  I wanted to talk to her about tour today, about how we would survive through it, and if she wanted to come back to America with us when we came to Philadelphia, where her parents are.  I crashed onto my bed, my head hitting the soft pillows.  I heard something crunch under the pillow, so I sat up and tried to figure out what it was.  I found a piece of folded notebook paper.  I unfolded it, and read the note.  I was in pure disbelief.  This couldn’t be happening… Cam was probably in England by now, if not then almost at Heathrow.  I tried to call her, but realised that it was the middle of the night there.  The hot tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I was sobbing like a child.  No one else was in the room, Reily and the boys went into Will and Kyle’s suite.  I threw my head back, smacking it against the wall, over and over again.  I ran my fingers through the tuft of hair on my head, then stood up and walked around.  Slamming the door behind me, I ran down the hallway to the other room, and banged on the door.  Kyle opened it, and I pushed passed him and over to Reily.

“DID YOU FUCKING KNOW? DID SHE TELL YOU THAT SHE WAS LEAVING? HOW COULD YOU? SHE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, REILY!” I screamed at her, I was still sobbing uncontrollably.  Will and Woody took me by the shoulders, walking my over to the other sofa and sat me down. Kyle took the note out of my hands, and read it out loud.  I kept my eyes glued to Reily’s facial expressions.  She looked at the floor the whole time, she did know something.  Kyle finished reading the letter, and I was enraged.  I wanted to scream, but couldn’t.  I took off into Will’s room, and found a pen and note pad. 

I wrote down every emotion I was feeling, and every synonym for each word that I knew.  Potential song lyrics flew out of me, like I was a pitcher full of water that was being poured out.  I couldn’t stop writing, even when Woody came into the room, and sat opposite me on the bed.

“Mate, let her go.  She wasn’t worth it.” Woody tried to persuade me to have a good last day of our holiday, before we went back to work for our next record, and tour. I had to stop myself from screaming at him.  I kept writing, but Woody kept trying.

“Maybe, I can’t let her go.  Maybe she’s the first girl I’ve even been in love with? You just don’t understand.”

Woody sighed, “Look, Dan.  If she’s scared, scared for you to know vital information about her, then she must have some pretty major baggage.  Like she said, when we have our gig at O2, maybe she’ll be a different person, and so will you.  Who knows,”  I couldn’t take this anymore.

“NO!” My voice cracked from crying.  “I can’t do this without her.  Woody, you don’t understand.  I’ll always be here for her, and she knows that.  I just don’t know why she left. I’m baffled at her choices, but one thing leads to another.  “It’ll always be good in the end; if it’s not good now, then it’s not the end.” a quote from Charles Trippy, of her favorite band, We The Kings”  Woody eventually gave up on me, and walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.  I eventually got up, and paced around the room.  I couldn’t go and find her, because she was already in England.  I couldn’t call her, because it was three in the morning, more or less there.  I tried texting but there was no answer.  My next best bet was to call my friend, Ralph, and see if he was awake.  “God, I hope you’re awake.  Emergency!” I texted him, shortly before calling.