∆ Week in P∆r∆dise // Bastille

I Need to Get Myself Back Home

Dan’s P.O.V

“Dan, you might want to come here.”  I heard Kyle yell from the other end of the room.  Lena’s head was on my lap, and I didn’t want to wake her.  She looked peaceful, but not as beautiful as Cameron.  Dammit, I thought to myself.  I needed to get Cameron out of my head.  She didn’t love me, obviously, she didn’t.  “Daniel! It’s an emergency!” Kyle yelled again.  I tried to replace my lap with a pillow, so Lena wouldn’t notice that I had moved.  She always got mad when I wasn’t near her… Cameron would never be this clingy.  

“What?” I walked into Kyle’s room, shutting the door behind me.

“I just got off the phone with Cam…” he trailed off, trying to remember something.  While I just stared at the floor.  “She wanted me to tell you that, ‘if you’re happy then she’s happy for you, and that she loves you so much, but that doesn’t matter anymore because you’re happy with Lena.’  There’s a hell of a lot more that she told me too, but I don't think I should share that information.”

My heart was just re-shattered into a thousand pieces.  “Kyle, continue please.”

He sighed, “She would’ve married you on the spot, if you would’ve asked her to.  She loved you more than anyone she’d ever known.”

“Obviously not, if she wouldn’t tell me things about herself that she told you!”

“She only told me those things because she’s scared that if you knew, you would treat her different.  I also didn’t pressure her into talking.  She was vulnerable, and I took her in with open arms.” 

I turned away from Kyle, and ran my fingers through my hair, Why had I been such a dick to her? There’s stuff about me that I hadn’t told her wither, because of the same reasons.  Shit, I just ruined everything.  “Can you call her back? I need to talk to her.”  I turned back to Kyle, and reached out my hand.

“That’s not a good idea, she was sobbing when we hung up.  She’s not going to talk to you.”  Kyle was being reasonable, but I wanted to ignore him.  

“Kyle, you don’t understand—“

“Oh I understand perfectly,” the door hit the wall, and it was Lena’s voice coming from the doorway.  “You love another girl, and I was your rebound?”

I turned to face her, a pleading look across my face.  I didn’t date, because I didn’t want to hurt anyone.  “Lena, no, it’s not what I meant to do.  I thought Cameron would just go away.  That after she left, after the pain fades…”  I felt tears start to gather in my eyes.  

Lena just stared at me for a while.  Kyle slipped out of the room, before anything got out of hand.  “Did you fucking think that you could get away with this?”

“Pardon?”

“You fucking liar!  Are you cheating on her with me? What the fuck, Dan?”

“Lena, you don’t understand—“  I wanted to explain, but then a light bulb flickered on in my head.  I love Cameron, and Lena was nothing to me. I just let her rage on.

“Fuck Dan, I can’t believe you led me on. You’re such a fucking dick.  I love you… blah blah blah…” She droned on, but I tuned her out until she finished her spiel.

“You only ‘loved’ me for who I am, not who I really am, on the inside.”  I pushed past her, and through the door.  

“That’s a lie!” She screamed, and followed me into the living area.  The boys turned to look at us, then exchanged looks with each other, they then tried to sneak out the door.  Reily had gone back to Los Angeles, so it was just the four of us again… and Lena.