After Courtney left I wanted to call him so bad, but I couldnt let myself. I know if I did he would talk his way back into my good graces, and I didnt want that to happen. My mind was finally made up about who I wanted now, and I didnt need to f***k it up. After all this is how it started wit Ike and Tina when they developed an abusive relationship. One time turned into two and then he just started all out beatin her ass, but I be damned if a nigga do me like that. I know he didnt mean it, but s***t I never thought he would do anything remotely close to puttin his hands on me. As I was checkin out the marks on my neck I heard somebody knock on my door. I rushed to cover up the hand prints in case it was Que because all hell would break loose if he saw them. The last thing I need is for him to fight Courtney because thats somethin I dont think I could handle. I answered the door wit a mixture of being shocked, and scared at the same time. There was Angie standin there looking like she had been cryin ever since she left from Que's house.
Shawn: An..Angie.
Angie: Hey Shawn. Can I talk to u for a sec.(she said in a low voice)
Shawn: Uhh yea wussup?
Angie: Can I come in?
I thought about it for a second, and against my better judgement I let her in my house. Everything in me was screamin that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I havent had this feeling since I came out to my mom, but she just wants to talk...right? She went and sat down on the couch lookin depressed, and pitiful never wipin the tears from her eyes. I reluctantly went to sit down on the opposite side of her waitin for her to start talkin so I could figure out what the hell was goin on. After about 5 minutes of silence she finally looked up at me, and started talkin.
Angie: Shawn how long has this been goin on?
Shawn: Angie its not like that I swear, and he just recently told me how he really felt. So believe me when I say im just as shocked as u are.
Angie: So yall havent done anything yet?
Shawn: No we havent not at all. Angie listen u and me are friends, and I would never do this to u on purpose.
Angie: Shawn I just wanna know why.(she said fightin sobs) I cant even compete wit no man because I dont know what u doin for him that I cant. How can I even tell my daughter that her daddy is a f***g.
I cringed at the sound of that word, but I didnt interupt her I just listened.
Angie: Outta all the years me and Que been together I never thought he would be f***kin other men. He never even gave me the slightest clue that he was attracted to dudes. Why would he f***k up my life, and play wit my feeling like that.
Shawn: Angie its not something he planned on doin trust me, and he's never had sex wit a man before. As far as I know im the only dude that he's attracted too. I use to always try to convince him to get back wit u after yall broke up, but then he finally told me the truth. Even after that I would still try to talk him into doin what was best for Kiya.
Angie: So u sayin that if it wasnt for u he wouldnt be like this.
Shawn: Im not sayin im the reason he's gay because I never made a pass at him, but I guess thats a way u can look at it.
Angie: So if u werent around anymore then Que wouldnt be gay?
I looked at her for a minute without sayin anything. I dont know where she was going with all of these questions, but I didnt like it. Angie is my friend and all, but this b***h is crazy as hell when she wants to be.
Angie: Shawn im sorry.(she said lookin down)
Shawn: Angie this aint yo fault man. Its just that nobody can help who they love whether its a man or a woman.
Angie: Thats not why I was apoligizing.(she said lookin at me)
She started moving around like she was tryna pull something out, and my heart dropped when I saw a big ass black gun. I jumped up and started backin away from her wit my hands in the air. If its one thing that put fear in my heart it was a gun, but even more so an unstable b***h wit a gun. The only thing I could think about was her pullin the trigger, and my life being over before it really started. My first instinct was to turn around and haul ass out that b***h, but I was frozen in fear of being shot in the back. I never thought I would be held at gun point, and the worst part is I cant just give this b***h money or somethin valuable to leave me alone.
Shawn: Angie what the hell u gone do wit that man come on we suppose to be better than that.
Angie: We are, but I gotta think about my baby Shawn. I cant let her grow up havin a f***g for a father.
Shawn: What the hell is shootin me gone solve!?
Angie: U said it yourself that if u were never around he wouldnt feel the way that he does about u.
Shawn: U think thats gone make him wanna take yo ass back.
Angie: No I dont, but it will stop him from being wit u. Even if I know we'll never get back together, and thats good enough for me.
Shawn: Angie please...dont do this.(i said tearin up)
Angie: Im sorry, but I gotta do whats best for my child.
Shawn: I love kiya like she's my own I would never hurt her. U know that so what the f***k u talkin bout!!
Angie: I know u wouldnt but she'll never be able to understand this s***t.
Shawn: How can u speak for her like that when she's not even old enough to worry about none of this. I think deep down its u that cant understand or accept the fact that Que is in love wit me.
Angie: F***K U!! Me and him were suppose to get married one day, and now all because of yo punk ass that will never happen! Talkin about u my friend wit yo back stabbin ass, and all this time I thought of u as the brother I never had. U prolly been plannin this all along to trap him in this gay s***t. My girls use to always told me I shouldve been watchin yo ass around Que, but nooo. My stupid ass kept sayin how yall were just friends, and now look at how the s***t got thrown in my face. All u lil f***gs do is take men away from women like me, and break up happy families. Now I see why yo mama disowned yo gay ass in the first place!!
When she said that I was so mad that I charged at her ass. I know she had a gun, but the fact that she threw that s***t about my mama in my face sent me over the edge. Even though me and my mom were on better terms it was still a touchy subject. Especially if u talk about it in a negative way like this b***h just did. I managed to knock the gun out of her hands and pinned her against the wall. She reacted instantly and knee'd me in the balls makin me drop down on all fours in unbearable pain. Damn that s***t aint never happened to me before, and I wouldnt wish this pain on my worst enemy. I gathered the strength to get back up and tackled her ass to the ground before she reached the gun. Even though she was makin an attempt on my life I didnt want to hurt her so I was just tryna restrain her. When it all boils down to it im still a man regaurdless of me being gay, and she's still a woman. We both struggled wit eachother for what seemed like an enternity. This is one of those times when me being almost the same size and height as a girl was not in my favor or best intrest. We were both reaching for the gun frantically tryna keep it from the other. Finally we both managed to get it in our grasp as we had a tug-of-war with such a deadly weapon to try and ensure the chance of survival of whoever had it. We started to stand up as we struggled with eachother tryna get complete control of the gun. Next thing u know all I heard was this loud ass sound that had my ears ringing, and then I heard it again.
(POW!!! POW!!!)
