After about 2 hours of just sittin around the house tryna prepare myself to talk to Que I still wasnt ready. Finally I forced myself out of the house, and made my way down the street. Whats normally a 5 minute walk took me about 15 to get to his house. I was tryna figure out how I was gonna start the conversation and tell him what kinda person I really am. Without even realizin it I was at his door, and the only thing left for me to do was knock. My heart felt like it had ran down to my feet, and my stomach was doin back flips. Yet and still I had to suck it up, and make this right because it was my fault it had gotten this far in the first place. After knockin the door came open instantly, and there he was standin there look just as sexy as ever.
Que: About damn time I was wonderin when u was gone knock.
Shawn: What u mean?
Que: I saw u walk up, and I been standin at the door watchin u.
Shawn: U a stalker.(i said laughin tryna hide my embarrassment)
Que: Somethin like that, but come in.
Shawn: Where mama at?
Que: She at work, and aint gone be home until later.
Shawn: Aw ok.
I walked past him as he watched me come in, and closed the door behind us. I went to the livingroom, and sat down on the couch as I turned the t.v. on. That didnt last to long though because he snatched the remote out of my hands and turned it right back off.
Shawn: What the f***k!?
Que: U came over here to talk not watch no damn t.v. now talk.
Welp there goes that plan. It was worth a shot though, but I shouldve known that wouldnt lighten the mood. I looked at him for a minute as he sat down in the chair in front of the couch starin me in the eyes. I sighed and put my head down tryna figure out where to start.
Shawn: Ok. Que u know I love u, but I been real selfish lately. I only been thinkin about my self, and how I feel instead of how I might be affectin other people. It was wrong for me to keep stringin u along and holdin u hostage from movin on knowin that I was confused. Its just that I really was torn between u and everybody else so it was hard to make an actual decision.
Que: So why u couldnt just be real wit me like this from the jump?
Shawn: I was tryin but u kept sayin all that s***t about how u cant just be my friend. I didnt wanna lose u so I did what I thought I had to do to keep u in my life. I know u prolly think im a liar, but I dont blame u and u wouldnt be the first person today.
Que: What u talkin about?(he asked concerned)
Shawn: Its a long story.
Que: Yo ass aint leavin until we put everything on the table so u might as well tell me dawg.
Shawn: (i sighed) I was cheatin on Court wit his ex, and that same person turned out to be talkin to Tevon. We was all chillin today, and I was mad so I choked dude up askin why he played me. Then Court, and Tevon over heard our convo which just added insult to injury.
Que: Damn....
Shawn: Yea I know, and Courtney broke up wit me after we got home sayin our relationship got to many secrets. Im hurt but its my fault this s***t went down like it did so in dealin wit it. I think I need to be alone for a while anyway if only to clear my head.
Que: So what u tryna say shawn?(he asked angry)
Shawn: Im sayin I dont want u to keep wastin yo time waitin on me. Maybe...U should get back wit Angie.
His face twisted up, and I knew he was about to snap. I cut him off before he got the chance to let his words start comin out.
Shawn: Seriously though before u go off just listen. After everything I just told u do u really want somebody like me. Im not the same person I use to be Que, and I would hate to be the reason we not cool no more. All because I be too confused or cant make up my mind about some s***t. Then on top of that even though Coutney broke up wit me its a chance we might still get back together, and I know I would say yes if he asked. I dont want u to hate me, but I can only be honest wit u.
Que: Iight...I understand.
Shawn: Que don-
Que: DONT WHAT SHAWN!!
Shawn: HATE ME!!
Que: I DONT AND THATS THE F***KIN PROBLEM!!
He got up and walked towards me then leaned down restin both of his hands on the couch by my side lookin into my eyes.
Que: Shawn I dont care about none of that s***t. I love u, ALL OF U, good and bad. Aint nobody perfect and me of all people should know that much. I just want u to give me a fair chance, and I promise u wont regret it.
Shawn: I cant give u somethin I know u dont have Que. It definately wouldnt be fair since I just got out of a relationship. I just need a little time to see where my head is an-
He cut me off by kissin me, and pushed me back on the couch.
Que: No more time, ive waited long enough.(he whispered)
Shawn: Que I cant jump from one relationship to the next. I was confused in one, and now that im single its only gone get worse.
Just as he was about to speak the door came open, and I heard my baby kiya so I knew angie was here. I was relieved because that made him get off of me, but he gave me a look that clearly meant "This aint over". When angie seen me her face lit up, and she rushed over to give me a hug.
Angie: Hey boo!!
Shawn: Wussup angie.
Angie: Omg I havent seen u in forever. How u been wit yo cute self?
Shawn: Stressed.
Angie: Why is Que givin u problems cuz if he is just let me know and i'll beat his ass for u.
If only she knew how right she was with that statement.
Shawn: Nah im koo just stuff about school, and graduation.(i lied givin a weak smile)
Angie: Everything gone be iight u a smart boy.
Que: Yo Angie wussup? Me and him got some stuff to talk about if u dont mind.
Angie: Nigga dont shoo me like im a damn fly! I came to pick up some stuff yo mama said she bought for kiya. Im glad shawn here to now I can ask him what I been wantin to know.
Shawn: Ask me what?(i said lookin worried, and confused)
Angie: Whose the b***h, and whats her name that got Que actin all funny lately?
Shawn: Umm..Yo guess is good as mine.
Angie: Boy stop, I know he told u yall talk about everything under the sun. He wont tell me, and even though it aint none of my business. I think I have a right to know who my daughter could possibly be around in the future.
I didnt know what to say at that point. This was something I never prepared my self for, and it definately wasnt my business to tell even though I felt where she was comin from. At the same time I had my share of drama for today, and this didnt have s***t to do wit me in my opinion. Just when I was about to make up a lie to tell her to break the awkward stares, and silence. Que said "F***k it" while walkin towards me, and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.
Que: This the b***h right here that u been wantin to see so badly.(he said in a serious tone)
Angie: What? Nigga stop playin im serious.(she said laughin)
She looked from me to him for a while still wit a smirk on her face. It slowly went from laughter to shocked as she realized the look of worry on my face, and the seriousness on his. Before things got out of hand I tried to defuse the situation. I moved from his grip as gently pushed him back.
Shawn: What the hell u doin dude cool out.(i said wit a fake smile)
Que: Shawn im serious about this and I want u to know just how much. I dont give a f***k who knows, and im not gone hide how I feel.(he said walkin towards me)
Angie: What the hell is goin Que!?(she said almost yellin)
Que: This.(he said as he leaned in and gave me a tender kiss on the lips)
He looked me in the eyes, and I almost forgot that Angie was there for a second until she started talkin again.
Angie: So...U left me...To be wit another dude?
Que: No..I left u to be wit somebody I love. Angie im gone always be there for u because of kiya, but im in love wit shawn.
Angie: So all this time yall been f***kin around, and I been what to u...A way to have a f***kin baby.
Que: No it was never like that, and this aint somethin I planned on happenin.
Angie: Another man though, thats not somethin I can stand up to. How can u do this to me, and most of all kiya.(she said fightin through sobs)
Que: Im sorry, but I cant help who I love.
Angie: All this time u been smilin in my face, and u the reason for all of this.(she said lookin at me)
Shawn: Angie I-
Que: Its not his fault so dont attack him. I made this decision on my own, and shawn aint did s***t to influence it.
She just stormed out the room, and got kiya and left with out sayin another word. I stood there in shocked yet again because of the pain that I was apart of creating. Why is it that my life is always revolving around so much damn drama. Que came back to me and caressed my face as he looked into my eyes. As much as I wanted to let him love me something was still holdin me back. I think it was guilt, but even more so fear. The fact that he was so willing to love me, and put so much at risk for me was intimidating. His mom came into the living room furious.
Ms.Thomas: What the hell wrong wit that girl I almost had to whoop her lil ass the way she-...So u finally told her the truth.
