For the last couple of days I had been in a slump. Not because me and Que were havin problems or anything, but because my baby would be leaving me after graduation. He found out that he would be stationed for his basic training in Cali. That was ok with me it was just the worry of where he would be goin after he was done. Sometimes I found my self being depressed about it really to think of not being able to see, or talk to him whenever I wanted. Graduation was tomorrow night, and that was the last thing on my mind. Dont get me wrong I was happy as hell to finally be gettin out of this b***h, but I dont know what I want to do as far as college. Should I continue on wit my plans of attending a school down south, or follow Que to cali? I was so deep in thought I didnt notice him comin in the house until he was layin down on the couch behind me. He had just came from droppin kiya back off at Angie's house.
Que: Wussup boo.(he said kissin me)
Shawn: Hey...
Que: Whats wrong?(he asked concerned)
Shawn: Nothin just thinkin bae thats all.
Que: Still worried about yo plans after graduation?
Shawn: Is it that obvious?
Que: Bae u need to stop stressin over that man. Everything is gone work out, and whatever it is that u decide to do im still not goin no where. I love u, and I wanna be wit u for the rest of my life if im lucky enough. I know the whole long distance thing is gone be hard, but im willing to stick it out if u are. If not I can understand that too, and I wouldnt be selfish by expectin u to put yo life on hold for me like that.
Shawn: Que we been through this before, and im not ever lettin u go for whatever reason. U are my heart dude I wake up everyday just so I can see yo face, and make u smile. Its not a question of me lovin or wantin to be wit u because as long as god allows me to be I am. I just dont know what I wanna do as far my own plans in life. U know what u wanna do, and u takin the proper steps to make it happen. Me on the other hand im still confused, and I dont want to base my decisions off of yours. Because if I dont like how s***t turn out I dont wanna resent u for choices that I willingly made. This s***t it all just so complicated man.(i said tearing up)
He got on top of me lookin me in the eyes wiping my tears before they were released.
Que: Like I said before bae I dont expect u to put yo life on hold or follow me around like a lil dog or some s***t. I want u to do what u really wanna do, and whats gone make u happy. Not what u think I want u to do, or what gone make me happy.
Shawn: But I dont wanna be that far away from u, and for so long I might just lose my damn mind.
Que: And u think im not!?(he laughed) Im gone miss gettin in them guts whenever I want to, wakin up wit u in my arms, and u gettin on my damn nerves.
Shawn: Oh so now I get on yo nerves?(i laughed)
Que: Sometimes u can make me feel like im talkin to Kiya yea, but I still love u.
Shawn: Ooooohhh so now im a child. U know what get yo ass off me.(i said tryna push him up)
Que: Wait hold on im just playin bae cool out.(he laughed)
Shawn: Thats what u sayin now nigga.
Que: But forreal though bae I want u to do whats gone make u happy. So can u stop worryin about that s***t.
Shawn: Okay....(i sighed)
Que: U promise?(he said givin me the puppy dog eyes)
Shawn: Yes now stop lookin at me like that.(i laughed)
Que: Good.(he said kissing me)
He laid his head down on my chest, and started watchin tv while I messed wit his hair gently rubbing his head. Next thing I know he was sleep lightly snoring as I escaped back into my thoughts. Even though I told him I wouldnt worry about it anymore I was still tryna register our conversation. This is by far one of the hardest decisions that i've ever been face with in my life, and im still confused. What am I suppose to do follow my heart, or follow my head. This is always a battle that seems to last forever, and even when its over there is never any real winner.
Graduation Day>>>>>
Thing were goin pretty smooth today considerin the mixed crowd that we have goin on. My dad, Daniel, My mom, and Douglas were all in the same room together without any type of hostility or confrontation. Its funny how any special occasion can bring people together that never seem to get along otherwise. Even Que's dad Jeff was here and he seemed to be gettin along wit Ms.Thomas just fine. Since Jeff hasnt really been around findin out his son was gay kinda caught him off gaurd. He played it cool though, well, after Ms.Thomas snapped on his ass that is. I was fixin Que's tie when everybody just rushed us all at once for pictures.
Ms.Thomas: Awwww look at my babies!! Ok ok everybody come on, and let take these pictures so we can get them to the school.
Ms.Williams: Dont forget to take some wit my camera its right there by my purse.
Ms.Thomas: Ok nah s***t I was not plannin on being no damn photographer today.
Shawn: Why not let my dad take em? I mean he really is a photographer.
Ms.Thomas: Oh Jason please if u dont mind.
Jason: Not at all.(he smiled)
After about an hour of takin pictures in every pose possible we finally headed to the school. I never knew it was so many people in our school until now. Its funny how u never even see some people while your there. I saw MiMi, Dre, Tevon, and Court all in their cap and gowns. After I gave all of them a hug Tevon pulled me to the side sayin how he still wants to keep in touch wit me. Then I got in the line so we could march into the auditorium to begin the ceremony. After the salutatorian as well as the valedictorian gave there speeches they started calling the names of all my fellow class mates. Everytime somebody I knew was called I cheered for them at the top of my lungs as they danced across the stage. When my name was called I acted a f***kin fool doin the stanky leg, and any other dance I could think of. Once the announce us the knew graduating class of 2012 everybody threw their caps in the air except for me. This s***t was expensive as hell, but I did shoot off some silly string though which we werent suppose to have. After we got done socialising wit everybody some for the last time we went out to eat then home to celebrate...of course me and Que got it in. A couple weeks later me, Angie, Kiya, and Ms.Thomas were seeing my baby off to cali. I think I cried more than kiya did causin him to keep comin back givin us both hugs before he left. Yea thats right, I decided to stick to my normal plans and go to college in Atlanta. I figured that this would be a better choice for me, and him. This way we could see if our love is as strong as we think, and we would be able to really focus. I was just finishing up packin all my cloths for the ride when I got a knock on my door, but I already knew who it was.
Court: U ready shawty?(he smiled)
Shawn: Yea can u help me put some of this stuff in the car?
Court: Of course I can.
It is bad that im riding down there wit Court? I mean we are just friends after all, and he's the one that insisted I go wit him instead of wastin money. Normally I would be nervous about being around him for such a long time, but I really love Que so I have no doubt I can be faithful. Although if I know Court like I think I do he's going to make this one hell of a ride. Before anybody gets mad yes I did tell Que that I would be riding wit Court. After all the bulls***t I been through wit keepin secrets u think im that stupid. He wasnt the happiest person in the world when I told him, but he dealt with it sayin he didnt care.Really he didnt have anything to worry about because in all truth Quinton Thomas, my bestfriend since childhood, and my heart. He was the one from the very beginning that always kept it real wit me. The one that I could always talk, or run to whenever I needed. He was my "Secret Lover"
