Senior Year

March 20, 2018 - How Things Have Been

Ay. I have been so busy lately that I haven't had time for many extra things to be added to my routine. I guess I should give an overview of everything that has been happening.

First off, I have significantly chilled the fuck out. My new medicine has been making me less antagonistic and less violent with my emotions and my actions. The only downside I've found is that when I'm tired, I do tend to have my whirlwind return to my head. Being tired is an extremely dangerous thing for me right now. I have to sleep more often because if I don't I will return to doing and saying things that I don't mean to.

To go along with that, I will be going radio silent a lot more with everything and everyone when I'm tired. It's too much of a risk to not go radio silent. For those of you who don't know what that is, I basically take a given period of time to shut myself off from social media and anything social at all. I don't take calls or texts at all when I have radio silence. In the past I've used it for the sake of my mental health and to take time to make decisions without influence, but now it's more for the sake of not making dumb decisions. It'll only be till I start feeling better or less tired, however long that may be.

Onto the next thing, though.

I feel derpy lately. Mostly because I'm on a whole bunch of social media things now. Especially now that my phone actually fucking works... Well, mostly works. It still sends messages to my old phone periodically... We've tried to fix it yet it is still persisting... Oh joy...

But, yeah. I'm on a whole bunch of things, though. My art is now getting out to more people and I'm getting to stay in contact with people I hadn't been able to speak to for awhile. Plus I get to show art to my friends I just don't have classes with at school. I feel really good about the decision to get more social media outlets.

And finally, after a few months of waiting, I am back with a counselor. So far so good, but I honestly have to figure out a way to kindly tell my mom to get the fuck out of the room when I'm at my appointments. I'm worried that she'll make the entire appointment about how I've been "attacking her" lately. She's been a little better and we've had very small arguments in comparison, but I know she's still victimizing herself...

The final thing I should discuss is my portfolio review for an art school. I got to tour the school I'm interested in yesterday and got to see what it was like. I really like the school and the rooms are huge in comparison to a lot of other colleges I've heard about. I really love the school and I do hope that I'll be able to go there.

As for the actual portfolio review part, I got reviewed by the Director of Admissions herself. She was really nice and we got along really well. My mom was outside of the room where it was happening, but she said I sounded really professional and really calm in comparison to how anxious I had been. It went really well and she said she would send out the decision by yesterday evening. I hope to get that either today or tomorrow, depending on when it is sent out. I'm nervous but I am confident that I will get in. I'll have more on that soon.

So overall, everything has been good. I am really content with how things have been and I do hope to have more and more good news. This medicine is making everything so much better... I'm not used to being calm. It's a pleasant feeling.