YouTuber X Reader One Shots

Promise {IceCreamSandwich x Depressed!Reader}

It's gonna be a long one, forgive me.

Play the song as you read.
Trigger Warning: Talk of Harm ahead
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The darkness swarmed your thoughts like there was no tomorrow. All the righteous pain seeped into your open wounds as you kept breaking the once perfect skin. You sat alone out in the snow in your backyard, some of it was turning pink from the blood running down your arms and from the cracks in your feet as you let your bare feet sit in the snow.

Yet he never knew you did this to yourself.

You always did this during the winter, you always stained the snow with your blood, you always tried freezing to death. It was your way of coping with your torturous amounts of depression. All your life, you were treated like garbage and you put up with it just so you could hide that it hurt. Now that you were out of your parents' house, you could let out all the pain by screaming, crying, and, unfortunately, harming.

You have been with Andy for four years, you knew each other since you were kids, he knew you like the back of his hand, yet you never told him about your depression.

Today was the final straw, you had enough and just wanted to end it. Everything hurt too much, and you couldn't take the amount of suffering you were enduring. You had left a note for Andy under your pillow, you left things around the house that would make his day better before he could go to bed and realize that you were gone for good. You loved him, you did, but you believed that he deserved better.

You stood from the bench in your backyard and threw down the weapon that you used to stain the snow. You took a step forward, wincing at the pain that shot through your legs, the blood from your feet trailing behind you as you kept moving forward and eventually making it out of your backyard and to the street. You kept walking around, your body freezing as you wore a short sleeved shirt and shorts. You shuffled across the street before Andy ran out and took you back inside, carefully keeping the pressure of his hands off your arms.

Once inside he sat you in front of the fireplace, wrapping you in blankets and placing your cracked, bloody feet into a small tub of warm water. You couldn't look him in the eyes, you couldn't bear to explain yourself. He knew how you were treated, but he never knew that it broke you an infinite number of times, not just one or ten or a hundred.

"Why?" You heard him mutter.

You shook your head, your hair soaked from the falling snow that continued to flurry outside. How could you explain to him that all the garbage treatment you went through finally got to you and shattered your heart and your soul. How could you tell him that it's gotten so bad that you wanted to die?

Then you realized...

How could you leave someone like him? How could you leave this boy who gave you everything? How could you leave this boy who cries over the smallest thing you say negatively about yourself? How could you leave this boy who loves you so much? How could you leave this boy that you loved just as much as he loved you.

You started to cry, the tears slowly running down your cheeks that has frozen snow stuck to the soft flesh.

You couldn't leave him. You couldn't just leave him alone to easily move on and find someone new. You couldn't just forget all the good times you had.

"I'm sorry..." you whispered, your voice hoarse and raspy from sobbing before Andy took you inside.

You finally looked up at him, his eyes glassy with tears, yet full of so much worry. He loved you with all his heart, and you were about to break it into a million pieces. He held up a folded piece of loose leaf paper, you could already see your handwriting through the thin page.

"Did you really think it would take me all day to realize you were gone?" He asked as his voice cracked.

You looked down again, you couldn't answer him. How were you supposed to explain?

"I knew you were depressed, (Y/N), but letting yourself freeze to death? Are you crazy? Do you realize how much you would be throwing away?" His voice cracked more and more as he spoke, "Do you realize how upset our friends would be to find out that you killed yourself?"

"I-"

"Stop, don't say anything. I don't want you to explain yourself. You already did through this note," he trailed off, sniffling and wiping his eyes, "...but I want you to get help. I hate seeing you upset, you know that. You know I hate hearing your negativity about yourself. We've known each other for years and the past four years of my life have been the most amazing since I've been with you. I love you so much."

You expected him to propose to you at this moment, but the both of you were too emotional to even say a single word. You finally started warming up and you threw your arms around him, burying your face into his shoulder and crying your eyes out yet again. He held you tightly but gently, afraid that if he let you go, you would run off and kill yourself.

"I'm gonna get you some help. I'll be here to help you every step of the way. I'm never going to let you go. I'm gonna stay by your side until we take our last breath."

"Promise?"

"I promise."