Suicidal ✽ Jamilton ✔

~ Chapter 5 ~

(The song I put up top was not included in the final version of Hamilton -sadly its such a good song- but it fits well with this chapter so listen to the song and it will give you hints ;) and also when it says 'Alexander' just pretend it says 'Laurens' HAH MORE SNEAK PEAKS also because you are hopefully still here there is going to be a lot of POV changes in this one ly enjoy)

✽~ Thomas's POV~✽  

Today is the day. Today is the day I am going to ask Alexander to be my boyfriend.

I walk up to him and grab him by the waist behind. "Alexander~," I say, "T-Thomas?" It's so cute when he stutters. "Turn around I need to ask you something," I say. he turns around and I kiss him slowly. "W-will you be my boyfriend? Please?" 
"I wha- Y-You wan-t to be my-" He stutters and it looks like he is about to faint.

✽~ Alexander's POV ~✽  

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH THOMAS ASKED ME TO BE HIS BOYFRIEND AND I JUST ACTED LIKE A FOOL. 

HE

ASKED.

ME.

TO.

BE.

HIS

WHAT?!?!?

Calm down Alex just because if you say yes he will be your first boy/girlfriend and he took your virginity...

I CAN'T CALM DOWN.

"four," I said.

AHHHHH WHAT DID I JUST SAY 'FOUR'? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN IN A CONVERSATION LIKE THIS UHHHH WHAT DO I DO

(cool guys Alex is now a doofus - also sorry in advance. :( )

"Y-Yes Thomas I will." I blush and we kiss. We go to the couch and kiss because his lips are so soft. Chapped, but soft at the same time somehow. Hercules walks in and says, "Hey Alex here is the book I borrow- OH HOLY MACARONI MOTHER OF IRENE!" We quickly pull away to see him smirking.

"Uh, T-thanks Herc," I say, embarrassed but I see Thomas smirking. 
"Welcome." but when he walks out the door we hear him yell,

"GUYS YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!" 

Oh great.

"I am going to go to my room," I say and peck Thomas on the lips once more.

I shut and lock my door and get out my razor. 

I cut once. Why do I have to be so damn embarrassing?

I cut twice. I am an idiot.

I cut three times. I deserve to die.

I cut four times. Stupid four why did I say that.

I cut five times. But what about Thomas?

I cut six times. Does he really care about me?