I Feel Empty(Kim Namjoon)

blood

It's been almost 3 months since Namjoon's step father called. And he still couldn't get over it. It made him sick. To think that the man that abused him could just call him. Years later.Namjoon hasn't slept or eating anything since then. He also hasn't said anything to the other members about it. Whenever they would ask if he was ok, Namjoon would always say "Yeah. I'm fine". 

Namjoon couldn't sleep. He looked at his phone. 12:55am. He didn't hear anyone, so he assumed that everyone was asleep. So he went to the bathroom, locked the door, took his toothbrush and pushed it down his throat. Since he hasn't eating anything, nothing came out. So he pushed his toothbrush  down further into his throat. Until he saw blood.  He kept his toothbrush in his throat, and let the blood gush out.

After a few minutes of throwing out and crying, Namjoon flushed the toilet, and began to clean himself. He looked into the mirror and saw the blood in his teeth. He felt satisfied. He looked like a vampire.

Then he looked down at his waste, and saw what his step father had seen him as. A Fat pig. He sighed, cried a little, and went back to his room. Namjoon has been doing this for the past few days. He felt empty. He felt happy. He flopped onto his bed and fell asleep.

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When Namjoon woke up he looked at his phone to check the time. 5:45am. He wanted to go on a run, like usual, so he got up, got dressed and went outside. He ran for about 3 hours. And came back to the house. When he walked in He saw that the guys were just eating breakfast.

"Hyung, do want anything to eat?"asked Tae.

"No thanks, Tae. I already ate. You guys eat without me. I'm going to take a shower anyways."

"Ok, hyung"

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Namjoon was still writing in his food journal. And noticed that in the space that said "eating" nothing was written. And honestly he didn't care. He felt like happy. But he still felt fat.

"Namjoon, do you want anything to eat?"Yelled Jin from the Kitchen.

Namjoon wanted to say no, but he couldn't. He couldn't say no to him. Jin just had this charm, that made Namjoon blush.

"Yea, be right there." Namjoon said, but still kept thinking about what his step father called him..

Everyone else had left to go to the pool. So it was just Namjoon and Jin. And honestly neither of them had a problem with it. Namjoon likes Jin. And Jin likes Namjoon.

When Namjoon came down the stairs, he saw that Jin, made them both breakfast. Eggs, bacon, French toast with strawberries.

Namjoon didn't want to eat. But didn't want Jin to get upset so eat the food. But cut it into small pieces. Namjoon wasn't even half way done with his food, when Jimin call him and Jin to hurry up so they can get to dance practice.