I Feel Empty(Kim Namjoon)

..life, suicide,tears...

Dream relem

"How do I get out of here" Namjoon thought as he threw a rock at the wall of the basement. He knew that this wasn't real ,but he also knew enough about people how have died when in the dream relem. So he tried not to go to sleep, like Muerte said. He tried to move but he couldn't. He was to weak. He just sat there crying.

"Jin"yelled Namjoon, "Jin I need you." Namjoon never told Jin that he had a crush on him. But now he wished he had, considering that he could die.

Then all of a sudden, the ground shook. Causing Namjoon to stop crying. Then a big crack opened up through the floor of the basement. Namjoon screamed. Then the world started spinning. Namjoon couldn't hold on to the chain he was tied onto Any more. And fell into the crack.

                                 ****
Real world

"Jin-hyung" exclaimed Tae. "We're here, and we brought Namjoon's things. And food."

"OMG! Thank you. You have no idea how long I wanted to eat real food. Hospital food is trash" chuckled Jin.

"How has Namjoon been?"asked Yoongi,as he and the other guys entered the hospital room.

"He still hasn't woken up yet. And the doctor's don't know when he will. They just say 'in a few weeks'." Replied Jin, as he was unpacking the food.

"Oh, don't worry Jin-hyung, Namjoon will wake up soon. Just believe."said Jimin

Suddenly Namjoon started shaking.

                             ****
Dream relem

"Ahhhh"yelled Namjoon as he fell into the crack. Wishing that this hell would end. He wanted it all to end. But he couldn't end it. Even if he woke up, Namjoon would still be living a living hell. As he was falling Namjoon could see visions of his past.  All his past relationships, childhood, and all the moments that he truly felt genuine fear. Namjoon just wanted to leave. Namjoon wanted to end it all. Namjoon just wanted to die...

                             ****
Real world

"Oh my God!"Yelled Hobi, "What is happening? What's going on? What's wrong with Namjoon."

Then the doctor came in, "Excuse me gentlemen, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You may come back, when Namjoon is stabilized."

The nurses rushed Jin, and the other guys out of the hospital room, and into the waiting room.

                            ******
3 hours later

It has been 3 hours since the doctor's told Jin and the other guys to leave the hospital room. And they were getting worried. More than they already were. Every time a nurse or doctor would pass by. They would run up to them and ask for any information about Namjoon. And if he was ok. But they would only say"sorry I don't know anything".

"Where is Namjoon's doctor?" asked a frustrated Yoongi." Why hasn't anyone told us anything about Namjoon?"

"I don't know"said Jin, sounding more depressed.

"Hyung, you should sleep, it's 2am, go to sleep"demanded Jungkook, as he was drifting off to sleep.

As everyone was beginning to drift off to sleep, Jin stayed awake. He took Namjoon's journal when he was rushed out of Namjoon's hospital room. And he wanted to finish reading any unread pages. And he expected he found some. This time they were filled with poems. Sad poems

Life

Life, so cold and dark
Unlike the town park.

Cold is what I feel
My pain I cannot conceal

No one notices my pain
It drives my mind insane

I feel so cold
My story is yet to be told..

Suicide

Scared, afraid
Hanging,shooting, killing
Dying, lifeless
The lose of life
Death

Let me die

Just  Let me die,
I can no longer cry
The pain I have is to hard to deal
I can no longer see  what's fake and real.  Just leave me be
Can't you see? Let me leave
So I can leave you in peace.
No one loves me,
Can't you see?
If they did, they would notice my pain.
The pain that drives my mind insane.

Oh why me, why is it me
Why can't it be you and not me
Just let me die
I can no longer cry

Tears

My tears are real
Tears that I can not conceal
My tears are lifeless

As Jin read the Namjoon's poems, he could only cry, seeing how much pain Namjoon really was. It hurt Jin so much.

Then something interrupted Jin's train of thought. A nurse came. And asked for:

"Family of Kim Namjoon"

Ok so, those poems that Namjoon "wrote" are mine. I wrote them because that is how I feel. I've been really depressed for the past couple of months and I've recently stared writing my feelings. And so if you think the poems are sucky, then keep your comments  to your self. And this fanfic is basically how I feel. And I use Namjoon's to represent me and how I feel. Yes, I am suicidal, and I have cut my wrist, I have tried to take my life. And so I think expressing my feeling though fan fiction is helping me, save my self.  Thank you for reading.

Don't worry I'm still continuing this story.