This story talks about eating disorders, suicide, and death. If these things trigger you, then I advise you to skip this story. (The plot kinda gets confusing and a little out of order but that's ok)
"Fat" is all that the haters have been calling N...
As they headed towards dance practice. Jin noticed that Namjoon looked tired. And different. He has noticed that Namjoon has been acting differently as well. This made Jin worry. But then Namjoon gave him a smile, and with those cute dimples.
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Jin stoped worrying. He loved Namjoon's smile. It was one of the things that made Jin fall in love with him. In the first place❤
Namjoon still carried his food journal with him. Either it was in his backpack, suitcase, or in his pocket. He always had it with him.
Namjoon felt fat after eating breakfast,for the first time in months, he wanted to feel empty. So as the entered the studio Namjoon excused himself to go to the bathroom. He entered the bathroom, and looked for something to stick down in his throat. He couldn't find anything to he just used his fingers. He pushed hard, and all the food came out. But he still wasn't satisfied yet. So he pushed down further into his throat, until he saw blood coming out. Only then he felt satisfied. Only in the sight of blood.
Namjoon spent a couple more minutes in the bathroom. And then started to clean himself up. He went to grab his food journal. But he couldn't find it. He started to panic. Asking himself where he left it. Then he realized that he left it in studio. Where everyone could find out what's been going on. Where they could find out why. Where Jin, the man he loves, could see what has been happening. Namjoon began to cry. Thinking as soon as they read his journal, everything would change.
Then he got up. And started to look for something that could cut through skin. He then found a Razer. And started slicing it through his wrist. Blood started gushing out. Be cut in deeper and deeper. He felt happy. Happy with blood covering his shirt and jeans. Happy with blood running down his wrist.....
He knew that he couldn't hide his suicidal actions forever, but he was doing it for months. Who was gonna notice.....
Ok. Yea. This chapter is kinda deep. Since Namjoon has suicidal thoughts. But you have tounderstand what he us going though. I guess you will nedd to read the next chapter to find out why. And how he has been keeping it a secret from the other members.But I might not publish it, in a while. Since school. But I'll try to. As soon as I can😚😚
