I Feel Empty(Kim Namjoon)

beautiful...

"Love is like water. You need it to live. But at any sudden moment it can kill you in an instant. And when you love someone, who stand you in the back, everything else in the world turns to nothingness." Wrote Namjoon in his notebook, once they got home.

"Love is unpredictable. One moment your thinking about how much you love someone. Then the next, you think about how they stabbed you in the back, without even realizing it. It hurts. Love hurts."

Then Namjoon grabs his song journal and started writing down lyrics on English.

Failure, powerlessness, worthlessness, hopeless. The world. My world. My life. Love. And everything internally has no worth within itself.

Then he started to write some lyrics in Spanish.

Me muero Sin ti amor. Me siento como me dejates pa a morir. Ya no sabo como a vivir.
Sólo en el mundo. Ay como mi duela. Ay como mi duela el corazón. Porque? Yo ya no se. Ya se me fue la mente. Sin tú amor, mi sento como ya estoy muerto.
Broken heart. Broken soul. Lifeless. Just leave me to die. I don't how to live.
I can't take this shit. Oh God help me. Why oh why? You left me to die. You went with some one else. Leaving me to die with a broken heart. With a broken soul.

* the English lyrics are not what the Spanish lyrics translate to. By the way.*

Namjoon couldn't write anymore. He couldn't express his feelings in song form. He could only hum a Melody but couldn't find the write words. But that is how Namjoon felt. He felt broken hearted. He felt like all he could do was to die. But all he could do was cry.

________
(Next day)

"Hey Tae, you wanna play Mario Kart with Jin and me?"asked Hobi

"Yeah sure. Is Kookie gonna play too?"replied a excited Tae.

"Actually I don't know. I haven't seen him since breakfast. I think he's recording something. I don't know."

"Oh ok. Let's play."

But what they didn't know, was that Jungkook was busy at the store with Jimin, looking for something to buy for his And Tae's 6 months anniversary. Which was going to be next week.

"What do you think of this?"asked Kookie, holding up a pair of Gucci shoes.

"I think Tae already has those."replied Jimin.

"Ugh, I'm never going to find something for Tae, that already has."

"How about you get some thing custom made for Tae"

"Yes, that's a perfect idea. Thank you so much!"

"So what are you going to get him custom made?"

"He likes ear rings. How about I get him custom made ear rings, with both our names on it?"

"Aww!! That sounds so cute. Tae will love it."

"Question. Where or how can I get custom made ear rings?"

"You can order them on a website"

Jimin pulled out his phone and showed Jungkook how to design and order the ear rings.

" Once your done just Press order and boom, they'll be delivered in a day or two."said Jimin.

"Wow"

"Yeah."
_________

Namjoon hasn't come out of his room all day. No one had came in and asked for him. Which he found a little upsetting, yet relived. But he didn't know how to take the pain away. He opened a drawer, and took out a bottle of pain relievers.

"Maybe This will take the pain away."He said and took the whole bottle, with with water. He soon started to feel dizzy, he couldn't walk straight. Then everything went black, and he fell on his bed.

(An hour later)

"Uggh, why does my head hurt?"Namjoon asked himself.

Then he looked around, and saw the empty bottle of pills.

"Oh yay." He grabbed the bottle, and threw it away. "And no one came to my rescue"he mumbled. "Of course no one did."

Namjoon's soon started to feel hot so he decided to go out for a walk. He wrote a note,not that anyone would look, saying that he was going for a walk. And left it on his dresser.

Once he was about 2 blocks away from the house, he began to cry. And began to kick the trash cans nearby.

He soon came across an abandon building. He went in and found a couple bottles of vodka, whiskey, and other alcoholic drinks. As Namjoon went up a flight of stairs, at a time, he started counting.

"7..8..9..10..11..12. 12 stories high. That's high enough." Then Namjoon Went up another flight of stairs which lead up to the rooftop. He looked at the view.

"Beautiful......just like Jin"