I Feel Empty(Kim Namjoon)

I thought you loved me

(Next morning)

"I thought you loved me" Jin thought in his head, remembering what Namjoon yelled in his sleep. "He still thinks about the kiss me and top had. I wish that never had happened"

But that wasn't what Namjoon's dream was about. It was actually much different. Jin had nothing apart of it.

Then Namjoon walked into the room, and sat down with Jin.

"Namjoon, you know I love you, right?"

"Why of course I know you love me. I love you too." Namjoon said remembering those exact words which he had said when he was 11 years old. His eyes started to water.

"Namjoon what's wrong. Why are you crying."

"Its just that, those words that you just said, were one of the last ones my mom every said to me."

Flashback

"Namjoonie"called Namjoon's mother

"Yes, mom"said 11 year old Namjoon, still trying to learn English.

"You know that I love you, correct?"

"Why, of course I know you love me, I  love you too"

She started  forming tears.

"Eomma, why are you crying? What's going on? "

"Namjoon, dear, I won't be coming back. I'm leaving...forever"

" what why? Eomma, please. Don't leave me. Don't leave me with him. You know what he does to me" Namjoon said in tears

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? If you were sorry, you would me taking me with you. And not leave me with that monster."

"Namjoon, your step father will take care of you. "

"No. No he will certainly not."

"Namjoon,please don't argue with me. It's not the time. I have to go." She said as the taxi came. She kissed him good bye. And started walking off.

"I thought you loved me" yelled Namjoon sobbing. "I thought you loved me"

End of flashback

"Namjoon what happened?"

"The day that my mom abandoned me, she said 'Namjoonie, you know that I love you correct?' And I said 'yes I know you love me. And I love you too'. After that she told me she was leaving, and wasn't coming back.  And I started getting mad, began arguing with her. And as she was leaving to her taxi, I yelled at her, saying 'I thought you loved me.' Those were the last words I ever said to my mom. And the last time I ever saw her. "

"Oh Namjoon, I'm so sorry"

"I still think about her. In my dreams, I just have the memory of her leaving me. And every time I dream or just think about it. The memory just gets worse and worse." Namjoon put his head down on the table, still crying.

Jin started to realize that Namjoon's dream, was not of him and top. But was about him and his mom.

"Then a couple years later, after I ran away, I saw a couple of people crowding around some one, outside on the street. I Went to go see who it was, and I saw my mom, covered in  blood.  She shot herself. She was buried in Ilsan-gu. And every few years I go to see her, to apologize for everything I've done in my life, to apologize for what I said to her, and to just to think. "

"Namjoon, your mother may have left you, but I will never leave you." Jin leaned in and kissed his boyfriend making sure that there were no more tears left for him to cry.