One Heart- The Greatest Showman

Chapter 55

Elizabeth's Pov 

"This isn't the first time this has happen? Is it?"

I shook my head, not daring to take my eyes off the ground. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I admitted it. I don't know, by hiding it and keeping it away from everyone, dealing with it myself. It didn't seem real. But now having to tell Phillip, just made it real, it solidified everything. 

"I'm fine." I said, my voice croaky as I tried to not cry. I hated crying, it always made me feel weak and vulnerable, but no matter how hard I try not to cry, I always end up crying up in the end. I tried to swallow that lump you get your throat when you're on the brink crying, but it wouldn't leave.

"I'm not. How long?" His tone was ambivalent, a mix between upset, worried, concerned.

"A few weeks but it has been coming on in the last couple of days." I couldn't hold it in anymore, tears just fell down my face, probably taking any residue of make up with them. I hated lying to him, it tore me apart.

I sunk down onto a new by seat, Phillip coming to sit besides me, placing an arm around my shoulder and drew me into his chest. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to calm myself down.

"Why wouldn't you come to me? How could you not come to me if this is happening?" He questioned as he stroked my hair, trying to help me calm down.

"I'm humiliated by it. I didn't want to let you be burdened by it."  

He sighed. " You thought it would just go away?" 

"Yes" I admitted as I could finally talk normally again, without sobs or croakiness. 

We sat in silence as he comprehended the information he had just received. 

"We will call the doctor, first thing in the morning." 

"No." I replied bluntly. 

"Lizzy," He began, turning to face me, holding my shoulder in his palms. "They can help you with this." 

"I've already been Phillip. They want....wanted to send me away to an insane asylum."

His brow furrowed together, as he tried to find the meaning in what I was saying, provoking him to ask me to repeat myself.

"An insane asylum. There exacts word were ' she is just a crazy spook who runs around with the circus, it would be better for us all if they just took her away.'"

His entire body tightens at my words, his hands were holding onto my shoulder a little more protectively. "Who?"

"I don't even know. As soon as I heard them, I left as quickly as possible."  I lowered my head slightly, causing him to lift it back up with the back of a few fingers.

"I'm not going that happen okay?" I nodded my head once before he continued. "Here is what were going to do.  I will inform everyone that you were exhausted and it was just a one time thing. If anyone asks to see you, I will just say you are asleep. We won't leave until everyone else has, so that way you don't have to answer any questions. Tomorrow, we will go see Charity and P.T, they should be able to help with this." 

I tried to say 'okay' but it came out more as a mushed and gibberish line. 

He placed a gentle, reassuring kiss onto my forehead, before leaving me alone to have a rest. I wrapped the black coat, I had stolen from Phillip, around me, smelling Phillip's cologne upon the collar; lavender, bergamot and neroli oil. I don't know where he bought it from but the smell just reminded me of him. 

*** 

Phillip's Pov 

I closed the door softly behind me, closing my eyes to take a deep breathe not long after. Most people had left, in fact nearly everyone had left. Except for W.D and Anne, who was pacing back and forth, waiting for me to exit the room. 

"How is she? Is she okay? Is she hurt? Should I go see her?" Anne ambushed me with all these questions as she peered over my shoulder, trying to see through the small crack in the door. 

I placed a finger to my lips, indicating to be quiet, as I lead her away from the door and began to explain what had happened - well the events we had decided to tell everyone. Lizzy's mothers arrival and the eviction notice. I didn't want everyone to know the real reason, I mean Lizzy deserves some privacy. And especially  after what that doctor had said, I didn't want it getting to the public or worse to the papers for everyone to read. 

Anne nodded along, asking me to keep her informed on any changes. I am pretty sure she could see through the story I told, knowing that there was something more to that story that I wasn't letting on to. 

But honestly all I could think about, was my hope that Charity and P.T would be able to help somehow.