One Heart- The Greatest Showman

Chapter 58

Elizabeth's Pov

I was drowning. My head is pounding, every cell in my body is screaming for oxygen. I keep fighting until I feel like my head is about to explode, I have to take a breath. So I do. For some reason it doesn't hurt like I thought it would, I'm not scared anymore, it's almost peaceful actually. I begin to fall. I fall further and further into the darkness until it threatens to swallow me whole. The heat radiates around me,  burning my skin with every flicker. The crackle of burning wood echoes round me, someone screams only heard as if they were the faintest whisper. It almost felt serene. I kept falling further and further, until eventually nothing was left but the faintest glow of flames and an ever going pool of darkness. 

I gasped, filling my lungs with oxygen as I sat upright in bed, my nightdress covered in sweat. The early morning sun had begun to shine through the windows, finally breaking away from the winters clouds and started to turn the piles of snow into that of puddles of water. Instinctively, I reached out looking for a hand for re-assurance, before I remembered that he was not there. Phillip had been in Montreal for only two days and I had two nightmares as well as the occasional panic attack. I have told Anne, letting her know what is happening like I had promised Phillip. But it didn't have the same effect like telling Phillip. When I told Phillip about the dreams, they would settle and I would have a dreamless sleep afterwards, as well as not having any panic attacks that following day. His presence just seemed to keep me grounded. Crazy I know.

I ended up throwing on a long white dress shirt, that I totally did not steal from Phillip, and overtop a longer brown dress with shorter sleeves. Pulling my head up into a messy bun, I set out to complete my list of things to do today. On my way out, I grabbed a bottle of ink and a quill from my desk as well as some parchment before  heading down to the dining room. I quickly made a simple breakfast and some tea before getting to work on the set list. I didn't even get to finish writing the date before I was interrupted by the knocking of the door. 

I had no idea who it could be as I looked at the small clock siting upon the mantle, Lettie and Anne were coming over at non. But even that was a mere three hours away. I straighten up my dress before walking over to the door, pulling it open with extreme curiosity. 

"I was wondering if you were even home. What a.....lovely....house you have got here." Spoke the voice of Miss Lillia Griffin. In comparison to me, she had gotten quiet dressed up. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a braid, which had some how been embroidered around her head, making her hair look like a crown. She wore a deep red, which match the colour of her painted lips perfectly. She entered the house without any objection, and did a small curtsey towards me. To which I copied. 

"I wasn't expecting your company Miss Griffin. Phillip must of forgotten to tell me." I almost asked, doubting that she had asked Phillip if she could come over. 

"Ohh I was just in the neighbourhood and just thought I would pop by a say hello and discuss a few things. "

"Yeah, in the neighbourhood". I thought to my self as I peered out the door as I went to shut it, miles and miles of countryside.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" I asked politely, to the best of my ability as we walked away from the door and into the living area, to which she remained standing on the other side of the sofa. The fire crackling softly in the background, almost causing me to flinch.

"Absolutely not." The politeness in her voice had quickly disappeared and replaced with one that was harsh and cruel in sorts. "You can be of no loss, Miss Elizabeth, to understand why I am here." 

"Indeed you are mistaken. I cannot account for this honour at all."

She raised her chin ever so slightly, giving herself a sense of superiority. "I will not be trifled with Miss Elizabeth. "

"I'm sorry?" I inquire,  complelty unaware of why she is here. 

"You mustn't marry Mr Carlyle." She said bluntly. 

I almost laughed. "I'm sorry but I believe you are too late. I married Phillip close to a week ago."

"A report has come to me stating that no official was at this said ceremony, therefore the two of you are not married."

Right. We had intended to do that this week, but with Phillip going to Montreal, it made things the slightest bit difficult. 

"Hannah Carlyle I assume." I stated as I dusted off my already clean dress, waiting for a reply. 

"Yes, doing orders for myself as per usual."

I was startled. Very Startled. "Excuse me?"

"Miss Carlyle, has been running errands for me all this time in exchange for my secrecy upon her own relationship with that of a footman." 

A beat of silence echoed around the room. 

"Why?" I asked, the fire almost taking my voice. 

"Phillip was meant to be married to me."

"But he then broke off the engagement to travel." I pointed out, looking her in the eyes. Those which shone with envy and pride. 

"That was false. I simply needed to buy time for Mr Carter to change the locks in the kitchen, ensuring that once shut it would remain shut," She began, "Phillip broke off our engagement when he joined the circus and, I assume, met yourself." 

A wave of information hit me as I tried to formulate to everything that she had said. About the locks and their engagement. 

"It was you? All this time? It was you?" I barley managed to contain my raised voice. 

"Yes. Yes. But that is not the point, Miss Elizabeth. You took everything away from me. I was supposed to marry Phillip and gain his inheritance. You were meant to be scrubbing the floors we walked upon.  That is the role we were all meant to play." Lillia hissed at me, her royal composer dropping by the second. 

"I'm sorry but that is not my story." I replied plainly, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of me yelling at her. 

"You selfish girl!" She exclaimed. "I have been planning this union since our infancy. Do you think it can be prevented by a woman of inferior birth whose own skin colour limits all her abilities?" 

Lillia walked around the sofa, coming to face me directly. 

"Now, tell me. Are you married to him?" She inquired harshly. 

"To your standards, I am not." 

"Will you promise never to enter such a marriage?" 

"I will, and certainty never shall, not." I looked at her decomposed figure. On the outside she may still look regal and royal but inside was filled with anger and jealously.Things which could not be covered by any sort of powder. 

I stood up straighter before speaking again, moving a fallen piece of hair away from my face. "You have insulted me in every possible way and can now have nothing further to say. I must ask you to leave immediately." I walked over to the main door and opened it for her, showing her the way out. 

"Good day" I said firmly. 

Lillia scoffed as she rambled on about how she had never been treated like this in her life. Once I ensured that her carriage was far, far away I finally shut the door. Sinking down and resting up against it. 

Only 4 more days to go until Phillip returns.