One Heart- The Greatest Showman

Chapter 83

Phillip's Pov 

Italics means a flashback :D 

The thundering of hooves split the silence as a lone stallion galloped through the bleak landscape. The wind wisped his mane into the air like flames, a striped mane highlighting the darkest of the night.  Ziggy I think Caroline and Helen had decided to call him. His muscles rippled from under his freshly groomed pelt and his powerful legs. They propelled him forward and kept him going as he powered over the land.

Before I met Lizzy I always thought loneliness added beauty to life. Placed a special burn onto sunsets and made night air smell so much better. It was a chance for me to escape, despite not knowing I was actually escaping. A small period of time where I wasn't under the gaze of my father, my mother and all the elite members of the higher class - all those who would contradict and through a fit if I picked up the wrong fork at the table. 

But that was all before meeting Lizzy. 

Now it is probably the scariest thing. Knowing that Lizzy is miles away without me, without anyone.  Having to know that she is in what once was a beautiful forest and now was damped with this harsh truth. 

And I truly felt sick. 

Not sick from eating something bad nor nerves. It was a genuine feeling of knots in my stomach, tightening with each gallop of the horse.

Provoked my knowing the real reason why this is all happening. 

Knowing that Lizzy is out there trying to save the day, save me, and instead is falling further and further to the point where she is putting herself in danger. She was trying to be the hero of this chapter of our story, and I love her for that. And don't get me wrong, she is a hero every day. I mean any person who puts the happiest of other before their own, hiding their own suffering with a smile so only a select group of people can pick it. I call that bravery and courage....heroic. 

God! And to think this is all my fault. I'm the reason why Lizzy is going there in the first place....and by there I mean the place it all started......

The place where I broke off the proposal to Lilia Griffin all those years ago.

******

The weather is the kind that feels like a kiss of summer without the fiery heat of noon time in August. The grass is a soft green that almost has a hint of blue and in the sky is enough pristine white cloud to show you how beautiful the sky was, perfect even. In this light that paints my skin so warmly, the trees are dancers, similar to those I saw at the Russian Ballet while they were in France. They move, choreographed by the wind, in perfect time with one another. They are the life and soul of this early summer morning, and I wonder how many hues of green my eyes are witnessing. The old farm house at the edge of the forest , private and seculcused from all those who wanted to pry. 

"Phillip!" I heard a familiar voice yell as they came running over . Her short blond hair was shoulder blade length and bounced in the wind as the hem over her dress scratched the ground. Most likely doing more damage to the earth that the actual dress with all the lace and bows trailing behind her. "You're finally back! You stopped replying to my letters, I was getting worried!." Lilia exclaimed as she latched her hands around my neck, pulling me unwillingly into a hug. 

Initially I was shocked , taking a few moments to process what was happening before detaching Lilia from her hug. Letting her hands fall loosely to her sides. Nevertheless, a smile remain plastered on her face as she asked, "so, where is the ring? You said you would get the ring from Paris?" 

Yeah...Paris. I had left for a little while, straight after proposing to Lilia actually. But when I was over there, I learnt some things about her which made the irrational love fade away quite quickly. 

"There is no ring." I stated, causing her look to concave as confusion and anger mixed before settling into a calm anger. 

"And why is that. We are supposed to be married  in a few weeks time,are we not?" 

"We aren't getting married Lilia." I say, saying her name for the first time. Trying not to spit it out in the process. "Look, I'm sorry but I can't marry you Lilia."

"Why not?!? You said you loved me, did you just change you're mind while you were away?"  She questioned as rage filled her voice. 

"Look,  it's difficult but I did some thinking over in Paris and I don't think I'm right for you. You deserve so much more than I can give you." I explained, holding her hand in my in front of us. 

"What can't you give me? You are one of the wealthiest families  in all of New York."

"But I can't give you love." 

"Love can come later." She announced. 

"I'm sorry Lila, but I can't."  This was received well I think. I mean I only got a single slap across the face but compared to that of my father's, her slap did not cause as nearly enough physical pain. I was telling the truth, I didn't love her. I don't think I ever did. I was extremely fond of her when I left which I thought was the same as love but while at Countess Adele's I learnt what true love was. And somehow I knew I wasn't going to find it in this society, those who wanted to marry me only wanted my wealth. As Lilia just proved. 

She stomped away, letting the carriage door close with a slam. I waited a few minutes before going  into the old barn house. Banging on the door three times and waiting a few seconds, allowing Thomas Carter to open the door. 

He looked at me almost beady eyed as he saw what I had done. The shadow of the carriage still imprinted on the ground. But he knew what it all meant. 

From the moment I had gotten back from Paris, I knew that Thomas had fallen in love with Lilia. And  even though marring my friend would of been better than marring a woman I barely knew, I couldn't let my best friend get his heart broken in the process. 

"You might want to get going if you want to propose." I say as he gave me a small smile before racing off the get his horse from one of the passing fields. 

Once he had left, I was alone. And everything seemed brighter. The plants seemed more green and the blue sky was crystal.  I was free for a few seconds, before walking over to my own horse, saddling him back up to ride back into the conformity of society...back into my life.