One Heart- The Greatest Showman

Chapter 80

A/N: I know that this chapter and the last chapter were very different from my usual style of writing as they were based more on thoughts of the character while remaining in one - two settings and little interaction with other characters. Please let me know what you think of these chapters, I am currently playing around with different styles and would love some feedback. 

Anyway, without further or do.... 

Phillip's Pov 

After taking a far while to process the information that Barnum and Charity had gave me, I finally found the words to excuse myself. I needed air. Neither P.T or Charity tried to stop me, I think they have gotten to the point where they know when I need to take a break from everything, just like I know when Lizzy needs to take a break. 

Lizzy. 

God, all I can see is her. Her tears, her hand letting go of my own. Her face which was usually filled with kindness, hope and optimism of all sorts. But then, her hair stuck to her face, with either water or sweat I assume, her smile was hiding a story she didn't want to tell and her eyes had a fading light as if she knew that she would have to break her self even further to make sure things were okay.

I never thought she was broken. Lizzy had always said, even from the first moment I met her, that she thought she was broken. But broken is not the same as unfixable. And I never saw her as broken, she never needed to be fix. After all, broken pencils can still draw the same. 

But she made "broken" look beautiful. 

And strong look invincible. 

She carried the weight of the universe on her shoulders but somehow made it look like a pair of wings. 

And overall, with all of this, Everything that affected her, she was still the kindest person I know. But I think I have found a reason for her immense kindness despite everything the world is thrown at her. Despite what everyone thought, she didn't stumble into her kindness. She was forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars. Her core was made of steal. Anyone, whether it be the world or society, could throw a punch and would just break their hand. 

She is kind to all because she knows first hand that sometimes life isn't. 

I kept walking further and further away from the house until the crunch of grass was replaced by the softness of the pale sand, small but long strands of grass blew somewhat gracefully in the wind. The water simply rippling into shore, waves fell into soft blankets of water which just touched the shore - barley even making a splash as the water's fingertips touched the sand. 

I couldn't place the emotion to be frank.

Was it anger I felt at Lizzy? for leaving me locked in the carriage despite us promising each other that we would do everything together?

Was it deep sadness? Knowing that she is out there right now trying to find my sister and save her from some great threat to me, something which involved Lillia Griffin...knowing that she left me, was breaking herself, to save me?

Was it confusion? That nothing made any sense whatsoever and the one person who could make any sense of it was away. 

Whatever it was, all it was causing was a great deal of pain. I knew to the both of us. But I must admit, true pain was when I looked her in the eye and she turned away. She kept saying it was for the best, that I was in danger. But all I know that if Lillia is involved then Lizzy is danger. 

I picked a small handful of sand up, letting the grains run through my fingers. One grain at a time. Each one connecting to the other as it fell upon the myraids of other grains. 

Each one linked. 

It almost reminded me of snow, the way a snowflake falls onto the snow, connecting with other fallen snowflakes. 

No. 

It couldn't be. 

Would it? 

Does it? 

I seriously will never understand how something so simple like grains of sand can help trigger thoughts, maybe that's why Lizzy always draws in the air?

I quickly flicked the thought of my head, before feeling my feet running back to the Barnum's house, quickly asking for a horse. 

Barnum led me outback to where he kept the zebra house (the horse he painted to look like a Zebra) and helped saddle it up. 

"What's happening?" He asked as he fasten the buckle on the saddle. 

"I don't exactly know yet, " I say with a bit of a sheepish grin as I mounted the horse. Barnum just shook his head at me, giving a small laugh and I rode off down the road. I'm pretty sure I shocked Charity in the process as she came out to see what all the commotion was about. 

How could of I missed this?

Lizzy even told me. Everything connects. Everything since my parents house, but even then I think it goes back a bit further than that. Yes the events which happened that night told Lizzy were to go and Lizzy even told me afterwards. But it goes back further than that. 

I knew where Hannah was, and I assume Lillia Griffin was their with her but I'm still unsure of who exactly her accomplice (but minor details) is, and, most importantly,  I knew where Lizzy was going. 

The place where it all started.