Was it love?[ Connor x Evan ]

Chapter 5

I had started crying from thinking that Evan actually cared about me too. "Evan please stay with me for forever. Please. Never quit being my friend." He looked up at me and started crying too."Connor I still don't understand. I have this weird feeling and it's killing me. My anxiety is making me crazy about this feeling." He started sobbing harder. "Evan I'll help you find what that feeling is."

"R-really? W-wait! You don't have to! Maybe I can do it by myself! You'll get bored and-"

He didn't even finish his sentence.

"No no no! I'll help you! I promise."

"Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? There's no need."

He stayed silent like he wanted to say it again. That made me laugh so hard for some reason. It just sounded funny in my head.

"Connor what should we do now?" I guess he was bored or something.

" Well didn't you say you wanted to find what that feeling was?"

He nodded and looked down.

"Ok. Umm. So what triggers that feeling? Oh maybe you're scared of me or something."

He shook his head "No that's not it. I feel really close to you. Like the feeling that I can't let you go."

"Maybe it's a friend feeling. You've never had friends so maybe that's what it is."

"Other friends think like that towards each other?  That's so weird. That's probably why I never had any."

I was so confused. I didn't have any idea of what he was talking about at all.

"Huh? Think towards each other? What do you think about me? Evan."

His hands looked like they were sweaty again. I think I was putting too much pressure. I had to do what I had to do so I can help him figure it out.

"I have thoughts about us...you.. Us being together for forever."

I didn't get it. Maybe about me caring about him. I got close to him. I hugged him to understand what he was trying to say. "Thoughts like this?"

"They were close to that. It was a bit different in my head though."

I kissed Evan. "Thoughts like this?" I never would've expected him to say yes to this because of how uncomfortable he was back then.

"Connor..I don't get it. I have a weird feeling whenever you kiss me. I'm not supposed to like it. I can't."

"Evan, Is it...

Love?"

His face turned super red. He got out of control.

"H-how could I like you? Like that!?Were friends! I can't like a guy right? It's impossible. I couldn't like you kissing me!"

I kissed him again. This time more passionately. Evan looked like he liked it. I let go of the kiss.

"Now you can answer the question you, yourself, asked. Do you like me kissing you?"

He started sobbing hard. I hugged him and again he's on my chest. It's the only way he got control of himself.

"Evan you didn't answer."

"I c-can't. I d-don't want to."

He touched his lips and looked down. Was this too much for him?

"Evan. Answer me please. I don't care what you say. I'll support you in anything you say. Except if you want to kill someone or something." I giggled.

"Connor. I don't know. I'm so confused. I only have liked girls. I don't know why I'm feeling this way towards you. I have so many mixed feelings in my stomach. My heart won't stop pounding."

"Evan I'll ask you again. Is it love?"

"I need to think about this. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting love and friendship mixed up."