petal poetry

my smile

11:11 07/04/2018

i hope for a day
when i will be able to smile
in front of the art
and not be afraid of being unworthy

perhaps there will be a time
when i will capture my happiness
and be able to proudly share the moment
with the world

i can see a faded picture
of myself smiling my ugly smile
showing all of my teeth
in one of the happiest moments of my life

maybe one day
i'll look back at this problem once again
and deem it immature one more
for it's just an insecurity

there's too much to think about
too much to compare to
the impeccable smile that you share
will never be seen on my face

i understand how we are different people
i know that i cannot change my body
but i do happen to dream of what it would be like
to wake up in your shoes

but it's all plain
who knows if my smile is desired
it's all just a painful stream of events
with unknown endings

so perhaps one day
everything i present
will be with a smile on my face
one that's so real and doesn't embarrass me anymore

maybe one day
it won't be an alter ego smiling
but the me, who is hiding away somewhere
will return and smile herself

11:18 07/04/2018